Friends Forever No Matter What
by weetziebat05
Summary: What if Lily forgave Snape's transgression in DH? How different would life have been? Not your ordinary fic... Complete! Read and review please! Undergoing some changes as of 2/21/08--betaed and better than ever!
1. A Horrible Mistake

**A Horrible Mistake**

_A/N:This story is currently undergoing a "rewrite" of sorts- betas are going through this, and I will be reuploading all chapters after they're done. Minor plot changes will/have occurred._

Hanging upside down and enraged, Severus Snape spat swearwords and hexes at his tormentors, better known as the Marauders. Earning himself a mouthful of pink soap bubbles, Severus gagged and choked, trying desperately to get rid of them. Out of the corner of his eye, Severus saw the knot of Slytherins looking on, seeming amused. Alphard Nott, in particular, was watching the scene intently, fingering his wand.

A flash of red hair caught Severus' eye, and he turned toward the sight to see a positively fuming Lily stomping over, her wand emitting fiery sparks as she held it tightly. She screamed at James Potter, the ringleader of the group, and he was painfully let down.

After disentangling himself from his robes, he sprang up to retaliate but Sirius Black was faster, hitting him with a Full-Body Bind. Severus's body went rigid, and he fell over, his face burning with humiliation.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily shouted, raising her wand and pointing it straight at James' heart. James and Sirius eyed it warily.

"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you," said James earnestly, while Remus tugged on his robes, trying to make his friend back down.

"Take the curse off him, then!" Lily narrowed her eyes dangerously as she noticed the lingering bubbles in Severus' mouth.James sighed deeply, then turned to Snape and muttered the counter-curse.

"There you go," he said, as Snape struggled to his feet again. "You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus—"

Desperate to save face, Severus shot back, "I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!" The group of Slytherins smirked and walked away, and Severus breathed a small sigh of relief as Alphard nodded appreciatively before realizing what he'd done to Lily.

With a sense of foreboding, he turned to look at her as he tried to untangle his robes and struggle to his feet before falling over again. She flinched as though she'd been hit, and fixed her steely gaze on his.

"Fine," she said coolly, tossing her auburn curls over her shoulder. "I won't bother in future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, _Snivellus_."As Lily shouted and James tried to be suave, sixteen-year-old Severus Snape tried to get himself together and slink away, but before he knew it, Lily had stomped off and he was hanging upside down again.

"Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?" James roared.

Amidst the intense humiliation, Severus felt his heart break.

He had just pushed away the most important person in his world.

* * *

That evening Severus waited outside of Gryffindor Tower, hoping against hope that Lily would forgive him. His insides writhed when he thought of what he'd done._I actually called HER a __Mudblood__… what was I thinking? This is all Potter's fault; if he had just left me __alone, I wouldn't have to ask forgiveness!_

"Hey, aren't you…. Yeah, you're Snape! What're you doing here?" a curious voice said. Severus turned to look at Mary Albright, nonchalantly leaning against the wall across from the portrait of the Fat Lady.

He sighed. "I am waiting for Evans, if you must know." Severus answered, looking away and pretending to be completely at ease.

Mary snorted and tossed her pony-tailed brown hair over her shoulder, slightly rumpling the Gryffindor crest on her robes. "Lily said she's really mad at you. She said to tell you to go away if you were waiting around for her."

Alarm took over Severus' features before he could stop it. "Tell her I need to talk to her. I'll stay out here all night if I have to!"

Stunned, Mary crawled inside the portrait hole.

A few minutes later, Lily appeared in a dressing gown, her face stony and her arms defiantly folded over her chest. She waited for him to say something, a challenging look in her eyes. He opened his mouth several times to say something, but nothing came out. She sighed impatiently and tapped her foot.

"I… I'm sorry." He ran a pale hand through shoulder-length black hair.

"I'm not interested," Lily said curtly, averting her gaze.

"I'm sorry!" he said again desperately.

"Save your breath," she retorted. "I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here."

"I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just—" he started.

"Slipped out?" she finished harshly. "It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. You and your precious little Death Eater friends... you see, you don't even deny it!" Lily said accusingly, pointing at his defeated expression. "You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"

Suppressing a slight twitch, Severus said nothing.

"I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine," Lily said softly.

Severus's insides writhed fearfully, thinking she meant to break all ties with him."No—listen, I didn't mean..." he started to protest, but again Lily cut in.

"... to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"Severus' mind raced. Lily threw him a contemptuous look and turned around.

He grabbed her hand desperately. "No—Lily, please—"

"What are you doing? Let go of me, Severus!" she exclaimed.

"But Lily, I didn't mean it! Honest! Please, you are my only friend, and my dearest companion. I didn't mean to say what I did! If Lucius Malfoy had heard of me accepting your help… well, we'd both be in danger! Lily, don't you see? I did that to save the both of us! Please, Lily…." he said, pulling her closer. "Give me a chance to explain everything. I've done a horrid thing; you're the only one I can trust to help me make it right. Please," he begged, searching into the emerald eyes he loved for a spark of compassion and taking her other hand in his.

She stared back resolutely, then gave in.

"All right. But let's talk somewhere more private than this corridor." Lily consented, letting go of him and taking a few steps down the hall. Severus' heart leaped when she looked back to see if he was following, a hint of her beautiful smile on her lips.


	2. Confessions

**Confessions**

_A/N: A disclaimer of your choice applies for all of FFNMW. Hopefully all fixed chapters will be up soon. Thanks for bearing with me._

Severus followed Lily down a few corridors, wondering where they were going. All of a sudden, in a corridor containing a large, moth-eaten tapestry of a small wizard—Barnabas the Barmy, the plaque said—being clubbed by trolls, Lily doubled back, her face screwed up in concentration. Severus stopped where he was, confused.

"Um… Lily? What are you doing?" With a finger to her lips, she kept walking.

Doubling back again, still concentrating, she looked at the blank wall across from the tapestry—only, Severus noted, it wasn't a blank wall anymore. There was undeniably a plain oak door in the wall with a tarnished silver knob. She smirked at his expression of disbelief and opened the door.

Wordlessly, Severus followed Lily inside, where a muted fireplace crackled and many soft lamps and candles illuminated a room not unlike the Gryffindor common room.

Severus closed the door behind him and watched incredulously as the door melted into the wall, becoming indistinct. Lily cleared her throat behind him, shaking him out of his reverie. Slightly shaking, he sat down in the puffy armchair across from hers.

"So," Lily said after a few awkward moments. "You were going to tell me something, Snivellus?"

Severus cringed inwardly, noting the harsh tone in her voice. "Don't call me that, Lily."

She crossed her arms insolently again, fixing him with a harsh stare. "And why shouldn't I? As of right now, you're still guilty in my eyes. So, how about you start rebuilding the bridge you burned to bits today?" With that, Lily crossed her legs and looked away from him, unabashed but still listening.

Severus took a deep breath. _It's now or never,_ he told himself. Wiping suddenly clammy hands on his grass-stained robes, he took another deep breath and said, "I changed my mind about the Dark Lord."

Lily raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.

Severus searched her face for a hint of compassion, but found none. "Well… over Christmas break last month, a lot of us—Mulciber, Avery, Nott, Malfoy, the Carrows—attended a Death Eater meeting." Ashamed when he heard Lily's breath hitch, he talked to his limp hands instead of directly to the girl he'd loved for so long. "Well… Malfoy's dad invited us, knowing we were following our fathers' footsteps—or, in my case, I was just blindly following Malfoy—and we were all so excited we didn't know what to think." He looked into the fire and bit his lip. "While we were there, we met the Dark Lord and—and we were all initiated early. They made this whole ceremony out of it and said something about a Mark we'll receive as soon as we graduate but… until then, we are bound to the Death Eaters and to the Dark Lord by a different sort of Mark where the permanent one will be." Severus slid the left robe of his arm up, exposing a small black dot the size of a fingertip. He searched Lily's stony mask for a hint of forgiveness.

Lily looked and recoiled slightly, her mask of indifference dissolving into tears. Hiding her face behind her hands, she cried silently about all she'd heard. Severus awkwardly tried to put his arms around her, but she refused to move away from the back of the chair.

"Why w-would you d-do that? W-why, S-Sev? Y-you're so much b-better than that!" she whispered, her anguish showing clearly in her broken voice. Severus stared at the floor, feeling humiliated.

"I don't know. I guess… I guess I liked the idea of getting back at my father for not caring about me and Mum by just hating Muggles and Muggle-borns in general. I liked the idea of fitting in… before you, Lils, no one really cared about me. Mum was mainly concerned with keeping Dad happy to worry about me." Severus said softly, stroking her hair. She leaned into his arms, and wrapped hers around his thin body and sniffed.

Lily whispered softly into his ear, "Sev, you are my best friend. Even now, I don't feel differently about you. But… this can't go on. You have to decide where you loyalties lie, Sev, because as much as I love you… there will be a war no matter how many times the Ministry tries to deny it, and I need to know whether or not I can count on you to be there for me and everyone else when we need you most."

Severus nodded, his face buried in her hair. He squeezed his eyes shut and willed himself to be strong, but his eyes betrayed him and a single tear fell into the ruby curls. He pulled back and looked into her bright emerald eyes. "I promise you, Lily Evans, I will never hurt you, and I will do everything in my power to make sure no one else does," Severus pledged.

Lily nodded and sniffed, dabbing her eyes with a napkin the Room had just provided. Her wet eyes lit briefly, and she turned to him with an idea in mind.

"We have to go to Dumbledore."


	3. The Prince's Conversion

**The Prince's Conversion**

_A/N: Thanks for all the story alert things! I'm very excited! To make up for the short previous chapters, here's one I could NOT make any shorter no matter what I did... I'm open to suggestions, so don't hesitate to say something in reviews! Enjoy!_

Severus dragged his feet the whole way to Dumbledore's office. He had no desire to see the man's grave face become more lined and judgmental, and as a result Lily had to turn back several times and tug on his arm to get him moving a little faster. Luckily, they didn't encounter either Filch or Peeves on the way, though Severus had secretly hoped they would. Lily wrapped the slightly musty robes the Room of Requirement had provided a little tighter against the castle's chill, and conceded to walking alongside her best friend.

"Sev, you know this is for the best." Lily said, searching his face for something besides dread.

Severus sighed slightly. "I know… it's just that…" He slowed down a little, trying to think of what he was trying to say. "Well… it's DUMBLEDORE, and he's always been associated with the Light side… how do you know he'll pity me instead of handing me and the other guys to the Dementors? I… I made a mistake… I don't want to go to Azkaban," he murmured, shoving his shaking hands into the pockets of his robes. Lily tugged on his arm insistently.

"Exactly! It's DUMBLEDORE! If anyone knows what we can do, he does. And besides, he defeated Grindelwald! If You-Know-Who's going to be scared of anyone, it'll be Dumbledore," Lily stated confidently. Severus shuddered slightly, thinking of the waxy, blurred look the man he pledged allegiance to had. His own knowledge of the Dark Arts had proved interesting to Lord Voldemort, who was a skilled Legilimens.

He frowned. "Lily… the Dark Lord is highly skilled at Legilimency… I am a modest Occlumens; how do I get around that?" Lily gave him an odd look.

"Ookay… well I don't know what that is, but I'm sure Dumbledore does… ah, here we are." Lily said, stopping in front of an old stone gargoyle. She turned to Severus. "You don't happen to know the password, do you?"

"Fizzing Whizbee," he said languidly, and the stone gargoyle came to life and jumped out of the way of a staircase revealed behind a hidden door. Stepping onto it, he explained, "Malfoy had gotten in trouble with Flitwick and made fun of the password."

The door to the Headmaster's office was open when they arrived, and, unsure, they stepped inside cautiously. Both Lily and Severus looked around wonderingly; the office was full of different silver instruments, whirring and puffing smoke. A handsome and young phoenix stood on a wooden perch close to the enormous desk preening its red and gold feathers, and it squawked reproachfully when Severus bumped into a spindly table, scaring it.

"Ah, Severus, Lily, what brings you here so close to curfew?" Albus Dumbledore inquired, walking out of the shadows with a pleasant smile on his face. Automatically Severus' lips tightened- he was terrified of what the powerful wizard would do, to be honest, but he adamantly refused to let it show, hiding behind a mask of indifference.

Lily, on the other hand, was more comfortable around the Headmaster and smiled back warmly but nervously. "Well, Professor… Severus has made a mistake, and we were hoping you could do something to help us out with this," she said nervously. His twinkling gaze shifted to Severus, who anxiously avoided the Headmaster's eyes as he fidgeted.

The Headmaster smiled slightly- he would never get used to his students being nervous around him, after all- and said, "Well, then, why don't you both take a seat? Severus, tell me about your problem."

Severus forced himself to lay his hands on his lap as they took their overstuffed seats, and tried to draw a deep breath. His heart was pounding so fast the blood rushed in his ears, nearly drowning out all other sounds. Try as he might, he could not get his traitorous hands to stop shaking as he tried to compose himself enough to speak coherently. Lily, noticing, placed a tiny hand over his and squeezed it reassuringly. The phoenix warbled a low note, and interestingly enough, Severus felt instant warmth that quelled his shaking body. The clamminess disappeared, and he felt better all around. He no longer feared telling his story; his only fear was that he would not be understood… and that was only a small fear at that.

Dumbledore smiled. "Fawkes trusts you. I trust that whatever you have to say, I will understand," he said kindly.

He looked gratefully and questioningly at the amazingly beautiful phoenix, took a deep breath, and began to tell Dumbledore his story. He told of his parents' rocky relationship and of his mother telling him once that Muggles were not to be trusted. He told Dumbledore about finding a moderate collection of Dark Arts books in his mother's library and studying them for hours into the night, smuggling them in and out of his room under too-large shirts and coats. He told of Malfoy approaching him and several other Slytherins with an offer to join "the most powerful wizard history has ever known" and collectively studying the Dark Arts with whatever books Abraxas Malfoy was able to provide, and of practicing what they learned on animals of different sizes, and of Mulciber trying some sort of hex on Mary Macdonald. Finally he reached the part with the pre-initiation ceremony and spoke of how Wilkes, Rosier, Rodolphus Lestrange, and Bellatrix Black were among those who eagerly attended, and ended with the fingertip-sized Mark, made by Lord Voldemort himself when he touched their forearms.

Having reached the end, Severus sat back and watched for the professor's reaction. Lily had never let go of his hand, and he squeezed it lightly in appreciation.

Dumbledore took his spectacles off, rubbed his eyes, and put them back on. "That is… quite a tale, Mister Snape. Why don't you give me the night to think about this, and I'll call for you tomorrow after your lessons. In the meantime-" he reached for a magnificent quill and two pieces of parchment, scribbling quickly on them before handing one to each- "you get yourselves to bed so you can learn something tomorrow. It's quite late." Severus glanced at the grandfather clock nearby and was surprised to see it was already ten forty-five.

Passes in hand and stifling yawns, the students made their way to their respective dormitories.

The next morning, Snape tried to revive himself over a cup of pumpkin juice and toast when a school barn owl dropped a folded note onto his near-empty plate. Curious, he unfolded it and read.

_Dear Sev,_

_I've been thinking… and, as much as I hate to say this, I think we'd better keep our friendship a secret from now on. No one else knows we've reconciled, after all, so just in case Dumbledore says you have to play the part for now… well then, you won't get in trouble by being friendly with a Muggleborn. Hopefully Dumbledore figures something out and we can just go back to the way things were!_

_Lots of love,_

_Lily_

_P.S:__ This piece of parchment's bewitched so only you and I can read it. Feel free to send a reply!_

Severus suppressed a smile and dug into his bag for a quill and ink.

_Your ability to think ahead never fails to surprise me!_

_Severus(or Sev, which ever you're using today)_

Severus found it was much harder than he thought it would be to pretend he and Lily were no longer friends. During double Potions she sat next to Mary Macdonald, leaving him to pair up with Lucius Malfoy.

"At least he's decent at Potions," Severus grumbled to himself. He willed himself to walk past Lily uninterestedly and began setting up his supplies. After Professor Slughorn had talked about the potion they'd be attempting, he left the students to their own devices while he read the Daily Prophet and munched on crystallized pineapple, occasionally checking everyone's work.

Lucius gave Severus a rare smile and clapped him on the back. "It's about time you left that Mudblood alone, Severus. The Dark Lord would not have approved…" he said praisingly. Dropping his voice to just above a whisper, Lucius confided, "I heard the Dark Lord talking to my father… he thinks you will be a great Death Eater. He said he senses power in you, and that he's going to work on developing your powers himself if he can… along with me. Together, we could do so much in the Dark Lord's name, Severus! Think about it…" Lucius drifted into glorious daydreams of a Pureblooded wizarding world, and it was all Severus could do to keep from shuddering. He forced a thoughtful look on his face.

"Maybe the Dark Lord would prize us above all others," he said, feeling traitorous, grinding the ingredients with his mortar and pestle to a fine powder with more force than was necessary. Lucius looked delighted at this idea. Severus rolled his eyes, thinking that the evening couldn't come soon enough.

Lily and Severus sat in the Headmaster's office uncomfortably, while Dumbledore himself sat back behind the desk, looking over his steepled fingers at the students.

"This is one problem, my dear Severus, that we cannot make disappear with the wave of a wand. I am afraid that if you were to pull out of the Death Eater group, you would probably be made an example of," he said softly. Lily reached for his hand impulsively, gripping it hard. Walking over to the window, Dumbledore added, "There is a bit of hope for you… you are an Occlumens, I have heard?" Severus nodded curtly when the Headmaster looked back for confirmation. "Well… Voldemort is a skilled Legilimens, but that does not mean you cannot protect your mind well enough against him."

Lily cut in. "Professor- what is that? That Legiti-thing?"

"Legilimency is reading someone's mind," Severus informed her. "Occlumency is shielding your mind against that." Dumbledore smiled.

"Admirably succinct, Mister Snape. As I was saying, if you would consent to being trained by me in Occlumency, you would be able to throw off Voldemort's strongest efforts to know your true thoughts. It may be unorthodox of me, Severus… but there is a war coming. We need a spy on the Dark side, and- forgive my seeming boorish behavior- but you have presented me with the perfect opportunity to have someone on the inside from day one." Dumbledore made his way back to the high-backed chair and sat down heavily. He looked at Severus pityingly. "I am sorry, my dear boy, but this is the best course of action I can see… to pull you out would most likely mean your death, you see, unless you went into hiding… and I think I am right in saying you hate to feel useless."

Severus hung his head, resigned, and nodded slightly. Lily looked as though she'd been slapped. Her tear-filled eyes darted back and forth between the two men, unwilling to believe what she had just heard.

"But… but this is madness! Professor, you're asking Severus to live a lie! Is there really no other way?" she pleaded, gripping Severus' hand so hard her knuckles were white.

Dumbledore sighed, looking every bit his age. He gazed at the young Gryffindor with a sad expression on his face. "I am terribly sorry, Lily, but this is as much for his own protection as it is for the greater good of the wizarding world. The professors have brought it to my attention that you two did not speak to each other all day, and I believe it was for the best. Now that you, Severus, must act as a double agent, you must do all you can to make yourself a believable Death Eater… and that means keeping this friendship a secret."

Distraught, Lily tried to suppress her sobs and convince herself the friendship she had cherished since before Hogwarts wasn't over.

"I would suggest you limit correspondence to letters by owl, and then I'd recommend you use different names or hide the contents with a spell. You know of the Room of Requirement, I assume… if you must, you could arrange to meet there." Dumbledore proposed briskly, with the air of a commanding military officer. "But be warned- Voldemort's army of supporters is growing, and you must assume no one is to be trusted in the student body. A well-meaning person may accidently slip in front of a Death Eater supporter, and then all we have done will have been in vain."

Severus took a deep breath, his nerves jangling. Lily had since stopped crying, her face set in determination.

Today was truly the first day of the rest of his life.

_That little dropdown menu there... click the one that says 'submit review'. Thanks!_


	4. Heartbreak

**Heartbreak**

_A/N: Chapter 4! I'm posting as soon as I'm done writing them, so be aware I'm not stiffing you on anything! However... school starts again on Monday for me, so there will definitely be a longer delay between chapters, since I have a job to juggle as well. But never fear! I'm not abandoning this story if I have avid readers and eager reviews! Enjoy!_

The summer vacation had come and gone, and Severus was looking forward to his final year at Hogwarts. Hidden deep in his trunk were stacks of letters from Lily- although they lived close to each other, they hardly dared to meet, because Lucius had taken to dropping by Severus' house without warning. Often Lucius' visits were for nothing but bragging about how much his skill in the Dark Arts had improved under the Dark Lord's tutelage, and sniffing about Bellatrix receiving "special treatment" because she fawned over the Dark Lord like a lover.

_"You'll be great there, Severus. We learn nothing but the Dark Arts themselves, instead of that silly Defense stuff Hogwarts shows us. And look-" here Lucius bared his left forearm- "I was formally initiated the other night."_

_Severus__ studied the strange and malevolent tattoo. It was a skull, with a snake coming out of its mouth and winding around it sinuously. __The skin around the tattoo was warm to the touch and slightly pink, contrasting with the paleness of the rest of his arm. "Did it hurt much, Lucius?" he asked mildly._

_Lucius laughed a little, uneasy. "Yeah, actually… it did. It still hurts, to be honest. But the Dark Lord said the pain would pass in a week, and that the tattoo would burn black when he wants us. We have to Apparate immediately, but luckily since the tattoo ties us all to him, wherever he is, we just have to think of him and those ties will make us land within a few feet of where he is."__ At this point, unconsciously rubbing his forearm, Lucius __stood and bade him farewell._

_"It's a shame you're a half-blood, Severus. But at least with your mother being a witch, you still get all of our benefits… like the Floo Network. I shall keep in touch over the year and tell you what's going on." He turned and threw a pinch of powder into the fireplace, making the flames turn green with a roar. As Lucius stepped inside and disappeared, Severus' father Tobias let out an angry bellow._

_"EILEEN! I TOLD YOU TO DISCONNECT THAT FIREPLACE TRAVEL NETWORK!"_

_Knowing a shouting match was likely to follow, Severus sent a hurried request to Lily and slipped out to the __nearby playground where he'__d made his first friend._

Snapping out of his trip down Memory Lane, Severus waved a halfhearted goodbye to his parents before boarding the Hogwarts Express, lugging his battered trunk behind him. Walking through the compartments, his heart leaped when he caught Lily's eye. She gave him the smallest of smiles and looked away quickly, resuming her conversation with Mary Albright. A Head Girl badge glinted on her chest, which Severus noted with pride. Walking on, he busied himself with finding an empty compartment.

A door slid open a few feet down, and James and Sirius stepped out. Wary, Severus placed a hand close to his wand, noticing with surprise that James Potter- nothing but trouble, never been a prefect, and total arrogant git- was sporting the Head Boy badge on his robes. He smirked when he saw Severus in the aisle.

"Well, Snivellus, looks like the test graders were able to read your answers after all! They must have great eyesight to see past all those grease spots your honking nose left!" James taunted. Sirius threw his head back and laughed raucously. Peter poked his head out to see what was going on.

"Oi Snivellus, you wash your pants lately? Want me to check?" Sirius jeered, brandishing his wand. In one fluid motion, Severus drew his wand and put the trunk down out of his way.

"EXPELLIARMUS!" a voice shrieked. All three boys lost their wands, and Lily caught them deftly, an angry look on her face. "James Ignotius Potter! Does the position of Head Boy mean anything to you?"

James, rather than trying to be suave and flirtatious, looked properly ashamed. "Well I-" he started.

"NO!" she stated. "I don't care if it's Snape or some other student, you will NOT abuse this post by harassing students! If we have to work together, I will not spend my time disciplining you too!"

Disconcerted, James apologized. "I'll leave everyone alone, then," he consented. "Even Sniv- er, Snape." Lily's irritated expression softened, and she handed back the wands. James nervously tried to flatten his hair, making Lily raise an eyebrow. As she walked away, she lightly brushed Severus' hand, giving him a reassuring smile. James slunk back into his compartment, and Sirius followed reluctantly.

"Told you she'd crack down," he heard Lupin say as he walked safely past their compartment and found his own. He set the trunk in the luggage rack and settled himself in for a good long nap as the Hogwarts Express pulled out of King's Cross Station.

The first month of the school year passed without incident. Severus no longer had to worry about getting attacked by the newly reformed James and his friends, Malfoy had yet to send him a letter, and he and Lily were writing to each other daily using pen names. He rarely saw Lily anymore… they had Advanced Potions together, but Slughorn required the advanced students to work alone and they normally sat on opposite sides of the room. His Occlumency lessons with Dumbledore were being held once a week, and he and Lily had arranged to meet in the Room of Requirement afterwards every other week for twenty minutes.

Severus felt the familiar resent bubbling up inside as he made his way to his dorm, hating the ignorant mistake that required so much secrecy in his life. _It's only going to get worse when I graduate…_ Angrily he scuffed his shoes against the floor, making his way to the already-full entrance hall for the trip to Hogsmeade. He noted that most of the people going were bright-eyes third years still enthralled with the idea of being allowed out of the school grounds, wrapped in House colored scarves and hats against the windy autumn day.

The group headed out, with Severus straggling near the end of the group. On his way out, he heard Lily's musical laughter and his heart skipped a beat. He searched for her as he stepped out of the wooden doors, craning his neck over the sea of excited students. Skirting around a group of giggly Ravenclaws, he peered around a stone pillar and caught a flash of ruby hair. Only…

Lily was in James' arms, laughing and twirling around. Peter and Sirius were smiling and laughing along, while Remus took a picture of them. "That's just beautiful, I got the fountain and the leaves in the wind in that shot and everything!" he gloated, the camera hanging around his neck.

"When did you become a photographer, Moony?" Sirius said, nudging Remus playfully. "Oi, lovebirds, let's get to Hogsmeade already!" James and Lily smiled and followed the others, their hands intertwined. James planted a kiss on Lily's cheek as they unknowingly walked away from Severus.

Severus couldn't breathe. It felt like someone had closed an iron fist on his lungs and heart, squeezing them so painfully he found himself gasping for breath. His entire body was shaking uncontrollably and his mind was in turmoil, trying to deny what he had just seen. He bolted to the Room of Requirement as fast as he could, shoving students out of his way and taking stairs two and three at a time. Slamming the door that couldn't have appeared any sooner, Severus threw himself onto the bed it had provided. The agony was almost unbearable… he could almost feel his heart shattering into a million pieces as he willed himself not to cry or shout…

He lost the woman of his dreams to his worst enemy.

_Yes? No? Let me know!_

_For some reason I can't enter a break... so it might flow awkwardly until I figure out how to fix that. Sorry! _


	5. Becoming Civil

**Becoming Civil**

_A/N: Short... but hey, you got something, right? lol!_

Severus lay there, staring at the ceiling, having lost all track of time. It had felt like an hour had gone by, but the sound of returning students tramping outside the Room let him know it'd been longer than that. Long after the last sounds of footsteps had died away, he heard a small crunching noise. He sat up quickly, seeing the wall form a doorway.

Hiding behind the bed, he heard a footsteps and Lily's familiar voice saying, "Now remember, you promised you wouldn't insult, jinx, hex, or anything like that to my friend, okay? Just… make him feel welcome, because he's generally not that trusting."

Severus heard James and Sirius laugh, and tensed. _GREAT..._ he thought. _She can't be serious._

"Alright, alright, Lily! If I didn't know any better, you became friends with Snape again!" James laughed.

"Never mind that, where are Remus and Peter?" Lily said hurriedly. Severus crawled backwards into a shadowy area, standing silently to ease the pain in his knees. He saw Sirius shrug, the Gryffindor's black hair falling into his eyes as it normally did.

"We didn't have time to tell them. Ol' Moony took it upon himself to tutor Wormtail in Transfiguration," he answered.

James sniggered. "Peter hated McGonagoll; I don't know why he decided to take it advanced! She's not magically going to go any easier!" he chortled.

Lily shrugged wearily. "He still idolizes you James… that's all it is. Whatever you do, he'll do." She tucked windswept hair behind her ear, checking her watch. "He's never late…"

Severus stepped out, warily fingering his wand. "Too right, I never am," he said. Lily, James, and Sirius all jumped, although Sirius was the only one who drew his wand.

"What the bloody hell do you think you're playing at, Snape?" James said furiously, visibly refraining from drawing his own wand. Sirius kept his wand leveled at Severus' face.

"Want me to get him?" Sirius asked mailiciously. Immediately Lily shoved Sirius as hard as she could, knocking him off balance, at the same instant Severus drew his wand.

"What did I say before you got here, Padfoot?" she said, arms crossed and eyes narrowed.

Sirius stood angrily, dusting himself off. Defiantly he roared, "How was I supposed to know it was Snivellus we were meeting?" Two spells sped toward him, fired at the same time.

"SILENCIO!"

"PETRIFICUS TOTALUS!"

James and Severus looked at each other, surprised. Severus took a few steps forward, wand still pointed at Sirius' Petrified form on the floor. "You don't yell at Lily in front of me, and certainly not because of me," he hissed. He looked at James challengingly, daring him to say something. Instead, James just shrugged and looked away, carefully schooling his features into a look of polite disdain.

"Look, if Lily wants it that bad… I guess I could learn to be nice to you. Starting with Petrifying this hothead… didn't want him to hex you, and Lily blast him into smithereens, after all." James said grudgingly. "I'd lose my best friend." He then looked over at Sirius and said, "I'm going to end the spell, but you better be nice to Snape… else Lily will kill you. Finite Incantatem." Sirius grumbled and stood gingerly, casting dark looks toward Severus.

Lily beamed at James, and then hugged Severus, who stayed stock-still. "I thought you were going to go to Hogsmeade, " she said, straightening her robes. Severus twitched, remembering what he'd seen.

"I saw you all around the fountain and decided not to stray near you again," he said silkily, reffering to the incident after O.W.L.s the year before.

Lily pinked, catching his hidden meaning, but reached for James' hand and said, "James and I have been together for two weeks now, Sev." He nodded, throat tight, pretending not to care. Sirius sneered at Severus behind Lily's back, while James tried and failed to hide his triumphant expression.

"I would prefer," Severus started, wrapping his robes more tightly around him in a menacing fashion, "-that I meet no other Gryffindor until I am comfortable with these two." He brushed past the astonished trio and headed to the Slytherin dungeon.

_Review! What did you think?_


	6. Graduation

**Graduation**

_A/N: __Sorry for the uber-short last chapter! I hit a writer's block and decided to go ahead and post what I had…_

_To the anonymous reviewer who mentioned siriusondrun's story: we__ both used the same scene from the DH__ book, with our own modifications. Is that what you were talking about in terms of similarities?_

Over the next three months Lily brought both Sirius and James to every meeting she had with Severus. Grudgingly at first, they stopped insulting each other with every chance and grew to appreciate each other, though Severus continued to insist he didn't want to "mend any sort of blasted bridge" with Remus or Peter. As time went on, James and Severus especially and surprisingly became something close to friends- they could share a joke at times, although the relationship between them was bound to always be a little strained. Sirius softened somewhat in Severus' direction, although he couldn't resist the occasional jibe. Fortunately, these became more lighthearted, and much less frequent than before. Lily was beside herself with joy that her friends could all play nicely together, with or without her there, and Severus grew to accept the inevitable fact that Lily and James really were very happy together.

The remaining months flew by, getting darker and darker as important wizards all over the globe began disappearing, leaving frightened colleagues and family behind. Whispers of Dark activity began to spread, although no full-out attack had happened as of yet.

One bright May morning, Severus received the first post from Lucius that year.

_Severus,_

_Forgive me for not writing to you before. As you can imagine(though the Daily Prophet won't come out and say it) we have all been very busy. Our numbers are growing each day, as the Dark Lord sways more supporters from all walks of life to our side. We have secured the Giants, Dark elves, __three Vampire clans, and most of the werewolves onto our side. Fenrir Greyback, the supposed leader of the werewolves, is one vicious person- he only too eagerly came to our side. Keep an eye on the Gryffindor mutt you told me of- chances are, if you could get close to him and talk to him, he could come over to us- if he hasn't already, that is._

_I must be off- Bellatr__ix (Merlin knows what the Dark Lord sees in her madness) is hollering about wasting time writing when we could be terrorizing._

_Lucius_

Severus' eyes widened. _Thank goodness I see Lily and the others tonight,_ he thought. Stuffing the note into his bag, he took one last bite of toast and hurried off to class.

Because Dumbledore had deemed Severus skilled enough to block his mind, he no longer had Occlumency lessons with the Headmaster. After writing a quick note to Dumbledore (since the "detention" he told other students was over and nothing else in terms of fights had happened, he couldn't get caught going up to the office) he hurried down to the Room of Requirement to wait for the others. Anxiously he folded and unfolded the letter, rereading it and turning it over in his hands.

The wall turned into a door and the three Gryffindors hurried inside, faces red and flustered. "Filch almost caught us!" Lily breathed, straightening her mussed hair. Sirius smirked.

"Ah, don't worry about old Filch, Lily… I'm sure he's too busy wiping that Dungbomb stink from Mrs. Norris!" he crowed, exchanging a high-five with James. Severus couldn't help but smile- Filch was so overprotective of that mangy cat!

James noticed the letter in Severus' hands. Motioning to it, he asked, "What's that, Snape?" Wordlessly Severus handed it over, letting the three read it over James' shoulders. Sirius looked furious, James was unnaturally calm, and Lily looked shellshocked.

"We can't trust Remus?" she said in a small voice.

Sirius shook his head emphatically, pacing up and down the small room. "That can't be right. That just can't be right!" He punched the wall, shoulders tense. "He's never given us a reason to not trust him! If he was a traitor why not rat us out when we became Animag- err…." Meekly he turned to James, whose expression had not changed.

Now it was Severus' turn to be completely shocked. "You're both Animagi?" he said incredulously, jealousy creeping into his voice. "Are you entirely serious?" Sirius, having let the cat out of the bag, nodded.

"Both of us along with Peter Pettigrew. It keeps Remus from going savage, having animal friends," Sirius explained. Severus' eyes narrowed at the mention of Peter.

"I don't like that guy," Severus said, more to himself than to everyone else. "Something about him just seems… off." James looked as though he wanted to say something, but stayed silent. Instead, he reached for Lily's hand and held it fast; she looked so lost that it was everything Severus could do to not reach out to her.

An awkward silence set in.

Sirius looked sideways at Severus. "So, uh, Snape… what happens to you after school?"

He wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Get initiated," he said gloomily. "But at least I'll serve a higher purpose. It is my guess that the Dark Lord is handpicking people to place inside various organizations… so maybe I'll have to get into the Ministry or something. Lucius keeps saying that he is impressed with me… I don't see why, but if being in that man's inner circle helps the Light side, I'll play my part with pleasure." He looked up at Sirius and James, realizing he didn't know what they wanted to do after graduation. "And you two?"

Sirius shrugged. "I'm not sure… I thought about being an Auror, but there are a million of them these days. There's no point in playing Quidditch with the world being this scared of even going shopping… I figured I'd offer my help to Dumbledore, since he's supposed to be organizing a movement against You-Know-Who." He made a face. "Mum and Dad are over the moon with Regulus, because he's just fawning over being a Death Eater. What about you, James? What're you doing?"

James pinked slightly. "Er… I don't know. Think I'll see if I can't do something at the Ministry. I'll help Dumbledore too, for sure. I just have to worry about my parents and all," he answered.

Lily nodded. "Looks like we're all planning on helping Dumbledore, then…" she mused.

"Just do me a favor," Severus blurted out, surprising even himself. "Don't do anything that'll make Lupin suspicious. And even if he and Pettigrew get in on the effort… limit what you say. I have a bad feeling… and I don't know which one it's about," he said, before realizing the time. Sobered by the news, everyone quietly made their way back to their dorms.

N.E.W.T.s had come and gone, and the final school day for all seventh years had arrived. The castle was alive with the buzzing of excited students- many discussing vacation plans, and others talking about career offers from different places. The courtyard was immaculate, with rows and rows of padded white chairs for the parents and families of graduates. A podium with a huge color changing banner saying "HOGWARTS CLASS OF 1978" was set up at the front of the courtyard, with the Heads of Houses and the Headmaster sitting behind.

Severus' stomach fluttered. He was grateful he wasn't Head Boy; James had to give a speech after the students received their diplomas. His heart jumped when he caught sight of Lily talking and laughing with James, her hair even more striking than usual and her green eyes standing out against the red and gold of the Gryffindor crest. They were talking to James' and Lily's parents; Lily's older sister Petunia was conspicuously absent. His own parents hadn't bothered to come, but Severus didn't mind at all. Sirius spent his time with the Potter family, cracking jokes at James' expense. The students sat down in their seats by House as the Heads motioned to their students to sit down.

After Dumbledore gave a congratulatory speech, Lily stood and gave hers as Head Girl, wishing everyone luck as they went out into the real world. The Heads of Houses then delivered diplomas to their students amidst applause and flashes from cameras in the audience. Severus tried hard, as Professor Slughorn handed him his diploma with well wishes, to feel happy that he was done with Hogwarts, but he couldn't. Hogwarts had become his home, his sactuary away from his constantly fighting parents, and there were just too many good memories here for Severus to turn his back on. He watched the last of the seventh year Slytherin students receive their diplomas passively, his mind reliving all the memories he'd cherish for the rest of his life… sneaking off to the Owlery with Lily during the night, sitting out by the lake talking and laughing with Lily… every memory with Lily was important.

As James stood and nervously started on his speech, Severus' mind came back to the graduation ceremony. He hid a smile as the ever-popular James struggled for the first time he could remember with attention… " 'S about time," he murmured to himself.

"So in conclusion, my fellow students… we have done our part to learn, and now we must do our part to contribute to the wizarding society, especially during these dark times." James said, more relaxed. "But before I turn it over to Professor Dumbledore- Lily, would you come up here please?" Confused, Lily stood and walked to the podium, taking the hand James offered.

_Is he really… would he?_ Severus clasped his hands together so tightly the knuckles turned white, fighting to keep a slightly bored look on his face. In Muggle fashion, just as Lily had confessed to Severus she'd love, James dropped to one knee and held out a gorgeous diamond engagement ring.

"Lily Evans, will you marry me?" he proposed. As she nodded, her eyes full of tears and too choked to say anything, the audience burst into cheers and witches everywhere were dabbing at their eyes. Sirius, Remus, and Peter, too excited to stay still, rushed to the stage to congratulate Lily and James.

In the midst of the commotion, Severus and Lily made eye contact and she smiled at him happily, tears still making their way down her cheeks. He nodded to her, smiling, and slipped away. The general uproar made it easy for Severus to head close to the Forbidden Forest's edge unnoticed. He ducked behind a tree, his smile disappearing abruptly, his conflicting emotions roiling. He was happy for her… but he was jealous, oh, so jealous of James… but if Lily was happy that was what mattered… right? He slid down the tree trunk, his head resting on his knees.

_Fucking Death Eater bullshit… If I could turn back time…_ Severus looked back, barely making out Lily's glowing face. _If I could turn back time… and left this evil stuff alone… then Lily would be mine._

Severus suddenly felt very, very alone.


	7. The Dark Lord's Decision

**The Dark Lord's Decision**

_A/N: OOH! OOH! I can't WAIT to write the next chapter! Thank you guys SOOO much for all the awesome reviews! Keep 'em coming! Enjoy!_

Three years had passed since graduation, and their world was very different now. The Death Eaters, emboldened by Lord Voldemort's rising, had become much more open with their attacks. The Ministry had all but crumbled from within as more of the Ministry officials fell under the Imperius curse. Dumbledore had formed the first organization against the Dark side, naming it the Order of the Phoenix, shortly after Lily and James' small wedding. They along with Sirius, Severus, Remus, and Peter spent every waking moment working against Voldemort, although Severus detested his part in the plan, working his way into the exclusive inner circle of Death Eaters. At Dumbledore's request, no one outside of James, Sirius, and Lily knew of Severus' double agent role. He never went to Order meetings, as Alastor Moody's magical eye could see through almost any disguise they could think of.

On one dreary September night, Severus felt the accursed tattoo burn and Apparated to Lord Voldemort's side. He had steadily worked his way into the inner circle, and swiftly kneeled to kiss the hem of the Dark Lord's robes to indicate his servitude. He allowed his mind to wander as the Dark Lord ranted and raved about the Order foiling another one of his projects again, especially the Longbottom and Potter "brat couples", as he referred to them. His strangely blurred features and creepy, almost-inhuman eyes scanned the crowd. Severus felt the Dark Lord cast the Legilimency charm and shielded his mind, thinking about puttering aimlessly around Spinner's End. Satisfied, the Dark Lord moved on to another Death Eater and Severus allowed himself to relax slightly. Bellatrix grunted slightly when she felt Lord Voldemort sift through her memories, her heavy-lidded eyes half closed as though she thoroughly enjoyed the experience.

He thought over the last fatal attack, thankfully over a year ago. He had told Lord Voldemort that the Prewett brothers would be easy to take down while Dumbledore was out of the country, but of course, oops-a-daisy, Dumbledore never left… Dumbledore and the rest of the Order showed up moments after the Death Eaters launched an attack on Gideon and Fabian Prewett. Unfortunately, the Order lost track of Antonin Dolohov, who was the Death Eater that ended up killing the brothers that Severus had tried so vainly to protect indirectly. He "misjudged" where he fired several spells, trying to Stun a Death Eater or two, but it didn't happen and poor Molly Weasley's bliss over a recent childbirth was marred by the death of her brothers. He remembered the fierce anger and determination in Lily's eyes when he told her quietly what had happened, as no one else would for fear of causing her and her unborn child stress. Thankfully, the last few attacks had not been fatal and now that Lily and Alice had had their children, they occasionally fought actively against Lord Voldemort.

Both Lily and Alice Longbottom had become pregnant at the same time. James and Frank both insisted their wives stay out of combat, so the two turned to each other for companionship. Whenever Alice wasn't around, Severus was able to steal a few golden minutes alone with Lily. Severus eyed her growing belly with trepidation and anticipation- he just KNEW the child would be another Lily, bringing nothing but joy into times of darkness. He couldn't ,however, think of the unborn child for long- no matter how happy Lily was and how friendly he was with James, he couldn't help but feel chinks of his heart break off every time he saw the belly grow or the ring on her finger. Thankfully, he was able to keep his sanity as his double-agent role kept him busy as a bee.

The babies were born eighteen hours apart, bringing much needed joy into the Order. When Severus heard, six hours after the fact, he luckily found her alone and was able to see her and the child.

Severus' heart ached seeing her in a rocking chair with the newborn, her scarlet curls fanned out around her shoulders. She looked over at him and smiled, beckoning him closer. "It's a boy," she said softly, holding the baby out to Severus. Carefully, as though he were handling glass, Severus held the baby in his arms and was disappointed to see tufts of raven hair peeking out from the fluffy blanket. "We decided to name him Harry."

Severus forced a small smile, handing back the child. "I had hoped he'd have your hair," he admitted. Lily chuckled.

"Well, he looks a lot like his father, that's for sure… but I think he might end up with my eyes. We'll see in a few months, I expect… They're gray right now." Lily said, rocking back and forth. She looked so beautiful… and again Severus cursed himself for his foolish choice.

_Get over it. You made your mistake, just be glad she still talks to you, _he scolded himself. Shaking these self-hating thoughts out of his mind, he forced his attention back to what the Dark Lord was saying.

"You are all dismissed. Snape, I want a word." Lord Voldemort demanded.

_Great._ The rest of the Death Eaters Apparated away until Lord Voldemort and Severus were the only ones left in the dark wooded area Lord Voldemort had chosen to meet in. Severus bowed, muttering his subservience.

"Arise, Severus, and don't tell me you only serve me. Do you think I am that foolish? That I don't notice how your information always leads to only a partial success?" Lord Voldemort snapped, prowling around Severus like a hungry wolf. Severus tensed, preparing himself for torture. "How is it, Snape, that the bloody Order always seems to know what we are doing? _Crucio!_"

Severus' nerves blazed as if he were on fire, but he clenched his jaws closed and managed to keep from crying out in pain. As the curse was lifted, Severus felt Lord Voldemort try to force his way into Severus' mind, gripping his chin so that the two men were eye to eye. Black eyes stared stubbornly at reddening ones, giving nothing incriminating away. His mind was full of intricate false memories of overhearing hushed conversations at different pubs and following known Order members as they discussed possible meeting locations and other things of that sort. Finally, Lord Voldemort let go, spitting contemptuously to the side. Severus stood, dusting off his robes, glaring slightly at the older man.

"It seems I was mistaken about your loyalties," he said stiffly. "I want you to take a position at Hogwarts and keep a closer eye on the old nuisance… perhaps you'll be able to give me better information."

Surprised, Severus said, "My Lord, Dumbledore knows I am a Death Eater. How would I ever get a teaching position with him around? Is this why you insisted I complete a Potions apprenticeship?" At this, Lord Voldemort smirked and waved his concerns away.

"Dumbledore's greatest weakness is that he ignores the dark side of people. Spin him a story about leaving me and needing his protection, and I'm sure the old fool will take you under his wing in an instant." Lord Voldemort idly snapped a twig off of a nearby tree and stripped it of its bark. He sneered again. "Tell him you want to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts... make a few Death Eaters for me, Severus. Defense indeed… You're dismissed."

Severus bowed. "As you wish, my Lord." He hid a smirk as he Apparated away. Severus expected this new mission would not only solidify his position in the inner circle… it would also be quite beneficial to have Dumbledore so close in case the Ministry decided to throw him into prison.

_Teaching… this might just be interesting._ Arriving in Hogsmeade, he made his way to the Hog's Head, where he knew Dumbledore was interviewing another prospective professor.

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	8. Point of No Return

**Point of No Return**

_A/N: WHEE! This was a freakin easy chapter to write... when I had time... so if you want more frequent updating you must do two things: 1) REVIEW! and 2) e-mail my calculus prfo and tell him to stop being so sadistic with the homework! GOSH! Enjoy!_

A short while later, Severus found himself in front of the Hog's Head. His lip curled in distaste of the place, but he took a deep breath and walked in anyway, trying his best to ignore the overcooked cabbage smell that hung in the air. A grisly-looking old man stood behind the bar, glowering at Severus as though he'd done something wrong. Surveying the nearly empty bar, Severus ignored the odd assortment of patrons and made his way up a rickety staircase to the few shabby rooms the Hog's Head offered.

"And what do you think you could offer my students as a professor of Divination at Hogwarts, Madame Trelawney?" he heard Dumbledore inquire from behind a splintered door.

A frantic jangling, as though of many bracelets, sounded and a misty voice declared, "Why, Professor Dumbledore, I am sure you know of my great-great-grandmother Cassandra Trelawney, the famous Seer… I could teach the students in your school the wonders of the talents my bloodline offers to me, and show them how to predict demise and trouble so that they may guard themselves against it… Forewarned is forearmed, as they say." Severus snorted softly and peered through a small knothole in the wood. The Headmaster sat back, looking politely interested but disappointed. A small figure, made to look even smaller under all the wraps and bangles she was wearing, sat with her back to Severus, her head bobbing as though she was about to nod off. She put a hand to her forehead, murmuring, "Dear me, you must excuse me, Professor Dumbledore… I have not eaten much and it seems it is affecting me…" The applicant trailed off suddenly, slouching forward in her seat. Alarmed, the Headmaster stood and Severus backed away from the door guiltily as the professor hastened to get help, wrenching open the door.

"Why Severus, just the person I needed to see… You don't happen to have anything to revive her on you, do you?" Dumbledore asked, trying to mask the anxiety in his voice with pleasantries. Severus cocked an eyebrow.

"I do believe she's coming around… However, Headmaster, may I recommend _ennervate_ the next time around?" he said dryly as Trelawney grunted and stirred. Professor Dumbledore looked sheepish, and sat in front of his applicant once again as she continued to grunt and stir. Severus stayed back, thinking the girl might simply throw up after a blackout like that. He had no desire to be bathed in that gunk!

All of a sudden, her head snapped up and her unfocused eyes flew open. "The One with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord comes," she said harshly, her voice echoing eerily as though a spirit spoke through her from the depths of the netherworld. "The One with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches… Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies… And the Dark Lord shall mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not... And either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives… The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies…" The Seer fell forward, smacking her head on the wooden table, which ironically brought her back from the trance. Again, she put a hand to her forehead and begged Dumbledore's forgiveness for her tired, hungry self. Both men were too stunned to move.

"Are you sure you're alright, Sibyll?" Professor Dumbledore asked. She nodded, and swiftly turned around to glare at Severus when he backed into a small table.

"YOU! What are you doing here? This is a private meeting!" Sibyll declared, pointing an accusatory finger at him. Strong hands grabbed him from behind and he turned to see the grizzled bartender pulling him backward out of the room.

Desperate, he called out, "Headmaster, I need a position!" before being rudely cast down the wooden stairs and kicked out of the bar.

Three hours later Severus was in the Headmaster's office, telling him all that had transpired at the last meeting with Voldemort. "-And then he said I had to get a teaching position here. He wants me to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts, and make him a few followers along the way." He paused, and looked at Dumbledore inquisitively. "You know who the prophecy that woman made refers to, don't you?"

Dumbledore steepled his fingers, contemplating the situation. "As a matter of fact, I do believe I know who… or, rather, I know of two candidates. And her name is Sibyll Trelawney, by the way, you'd do good to remember your colleague's name." He shifted his weight from left to right and reached into an open tin of lemon drops, which Severus refused to touch. Popping one into his mouth, Dumbledore continued, "I cannot in good conscience let you teach the course that Voldemort wants you to teach. Unbeknownst to most people, he himself asked for a teaching position here… when I refused it to him, I believe he cursed that position. You are too valuable to too many people to simply let you die, especially in such an undignified way. However, Professor Slughorn has been pestering me about retiring, and you're an ideal candidate for both the Potions position as well as Head of Slytherin House. It does also come with a nicer pay than the original position. What do you say, Severus?"

Severus' head was spinning. Come back to Hogwarts? Live here?!? "Of course! Next term? Next year?" he answered eagerly (or about as eagerly as Severus Snape could get), sitting up straighter and an expression of rapt attention on his face.

Dumbledore smiled slightly at the way Severus reacted to this news, but sighed and sat back wearily. "You do realize that with your position among the Death Eaters as precarious as it is, that you MUST report the prophecy?" Severus' hands twitched in hi s lap. Dumbledore continued, "You realize that if I am to protect this person, that means that one way or another I'll end up taking you into my confidence… and if the other side sees us parading around a certain person and he knows nothing of it, you'll come under fire for treachery again. I cannot have that happen."

Severus sighed heavily, arching his aching back until it popped. He nodded wearily. "Yes, I did think it might hurt my position not saying anything. However," he stated as he stood and took leave, "I will not tell him of anyone having a power he doesn't know. That man would grow even more powerful and arrogant trying to stay a step ahead." He rubbed his eyes wearily and muttered, "You know, barely four years ago I never would have thought someone could be more arrogant than James Potter." Nodding a farewell to Dumbledore as he chuckled at Severus' remark, he left the office and strolled across the grounds, gripping his Mark and Apparating to the Dark Lord's side.

"Ah, Severus… I trust you were able to get the job?" the Dark Lord hissed, a small snake winding in and out of his fingers.

Severus bowed and stood, noticing the dark, dank stone walls and medieval torches gave the gargantuan room a dungeon-like feel. "My Lord, the Headmaster has offered a position as Potions master and Head of Slytherin House. I regret that the Defense position was not offered, but he seems to think it may tempt me into my old ways. I did accept, my Lord, trusting that the Head of House position would wield more influence than a Defense position."

Lord Voldemort stood, arching an eyebrow. "Why… I never thought of that. Well, I suppose we could not have known Slughorn wanted to retire, did we?" he said, more to the snake than to Severus. "Very well then. I trust you will not mess this up, hmm?"

Severus had a strong inclination to just leave, but forced himself to say, "My Lord, I heard a prophecy concerning you when I was waiting for my interview." Lord Voldemort stopped in his tracks and wheeled around, a satisfied smirk on his pasty face.

"Oh really?" he drawled. "Let me guess… stop resisting, the Dark Lord shall win no matter what? I figured that one would come sooner or later!" Severus raised an eyebrow haughtily.

"Quite the opposite, actually. I did not see who made the prediction, but I did hear the Seer say… oh, what was it again??? Oh, yes… 'The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches, born to parents who thrice defied him and born as the seventh month dies.' Something along those lines," Severus said casually, inwardly enjoying the look of horror and utter revulsion on the Dark Lord's face. "The only thing I don't get is who the child will be… after all, there Is no indication of bloodlines save the defying parents line, and even then I believe you had a few Muggle families fight most pitifully against a few Death Eaters, did they not?"

Lord Voldemort clutched his high backed chair and glared at Severus. "Are you not worried? Or wrathful or anything? Who do your loyalties lie with, man?" he roared angrily. Severus was having too much fun with this… but he couldn't resist one more deadpanned jab at the older man's pride.

"Why, my Lord, you verified at our last meeting that my loyalties are to you and the Dark Side…. Unless you were mistaken?" An angry howl reverberated throughout the dungeon-like room and a streak of black shot out from a shadowy doorway, knocking Severus over. Surprised, he gingerly opened his eyes to see Bellatrix Lestrange (she had recently married) standing over him, her eyes flashing and her wand pointed at his throat.

"The Dark Lord does not make mistakes! How DARE you imply so?" she demanded.

Severus rolled his eyes. _Levicorpus!_ he thought, flicking his wand upward. Bellatrix howled angrily again, this time suspended by her ankle in midair. "Get me down, you bloody prat! Right now!"

Lord Voldemort's mouth twitched into an amused smirk. "Why Severus, you've been holding that out on me; you must teach everyone that delightful spell." Severus inclined his head.

"Why, I am not worried because you are, after all, the greatest wizard who ever lived. Just incapacitate the threat and they'll be a threat no more," he answered offhandedly, rudely letting Bellatrix down so she crumpled onto the unforgiving stone floor. Lord Voldemort's lips curled into a sneer.

"Bella, be a dear and tell Lucius Malfoy to bring me a copy of that magical births registry. I must eliminate this threat at once."

Severus hoped fervently that Dumbledore had already taken steps to protect whatever child the prophecy spoke of.

_So like I said earlier... REVIEW!!!_


	9. The Hunt Begins

**The Hunt Begins**

_A/N: So this one took me a little while... what with all the homework my professors are dishing out. And you should be very, very happy you're getting this chapter so soon... I'm putting off working on calculus homework and studying for my physics exam to bring this to you! So read, review, and enjoy! Oh, and telling my profs to back off wouldn't be such a bad idea either ;)_

Barely four hours later, Severus was in the Black house with James, Lily, Sirius, and a sleeping Harry discussing the prophecy.

Sirius was grinning. "I'm sorry, I know this isn't funny, but just imagine You-Know-Who being beaten by a little kid! What, do they have super strength and shatter his shin with a mighty kick or something?" he said, his shoulders shaking in suppressed laughter. James smiled faintly, but Lily and Severus both glared at Sirius.

"Do you realize that prophecy might mean Harry?" she demanded angrily. Sirius, Severus and James all stopped short, her words stinging. _How could I not have realized that… and that old coot told me to tell You-Know-Who! I suppose he has his reasons… but still!!!_

James fidgeted guiltily, feeling as though he should have caught the possibility. Sirius looked dubious. Severus twitched, his coal eyes glittering. "I suppose we should start working on protecting you, hmm? And what of your dear Lupin and Pettigrew? Will you tell them?" he said softly, cursing Dumbledore in his mind._ Dear Merlin, I've just placed the most precious person on this earth to me in grave danger…_ He knew the Dark Lord would spare no mercy… unless…

Unless maybe Severus asked him to… he was in the inner circle after all… he bowed his head, thinking over how to ask the Dark Lord to spare the Potters (Lily would never be happy by herself, after all) and go after someone else.

James sighed heavily. "Well, the entire Order will have to know, I assume… or at least, they will have to know that Lily and Harry and I are being specifically targeted. How else could we pull off going into hiding so completely? If we just left, someone would get suspicious on our side and try to track us down," he stated.

Lily nodded slightly. "Yes, so we're just going to have to tell them at least that much. Oh no-" She put her hands over her mouth, looking horrorstruck. James placed an arm around her, coaxing her to put her hand down.

"Lily, what is it?" Sirius asked, taking her other hand gently. Severus felt an unexpected jealous heat shoot through his being at the gesture. _That should be me comforting you…_

A tear welled in her eye. "If it's not us… It's the Longbottoms! We've fought together in every raid against You-Know-Who and Neville and Harry were born just hours apart…" Sirius struggled to keep an appropriate expression on his face, but Severus could see that he was thinking, better them than you! And Severus couldn't help but silently agree.

"Well, we have to tell the Order, if Dumbledore's not already planning to. And I know he'll think of a way to keep us safe… even through these dark times…" Lily said, looking out of a grimy window to a dark, clouded sky and chilly mist curling through the street. "Still, I can't help but feel we've got a rat in the Order… Severus, you're SURE You-Know-Who didn't see anything in your mind?" She fixed a piercing, beautiful emerald eye on her long-time best friend.

Severus pursed his lips impatiently. "I told you already, Lily, someone else must have told him something because I did not even know what direction the ambush was supposed to come from! He never even told me for sure he'd have a team out there! Dumbledore doesn't tell me the crucial details, for fear my Occlumency shields may break."

Three weeks before, when Severus tipped off the Order on a Death Eater raid at Gringotts, Dumbledore had arranged a counterattack from the west side, aiming at the weaker side of the Death Eater group. Somehow, Lord Voldemort had known about the ambush beforehand and had stationed more skilled Death Eaters at the perimeters, where they eventually joined in and bore down heavily on the meager force of the Light. The Gringotts goblins fought valiantly against the Dark Lord and his followers, performing their own brand of a Slashing Hex most spectacularly across Antonin Dolohov's repulsive face contorted with maddening glee.

Severus, fighting in the middle of the group, had pulled spells (A/N: like pulling punches) against the Order members. Realizing this when trying to fight against him, Arthur Weasley managed a quick smile at the masked man, knowing this anonymous person was the reason the Order could monitor the Dark Lord's movements. He then pretended to fall, and Severus aimed a Stunning spell at the Death Eater directly behind Arthur instead. Every once in a while, Severus stuck out a foot or purposely bumped hard into a Death Eater, causing them to trip and misfire, giving the Order members a second to bring the man down.

Then, horrifically, the tides began to turn. More Death Eaters swarmed in from hiding places surrounding the wizarding bank, firing Unforgivables into the Light crowd. Several Order members fell prey to the Cruciatus curse, but luckily only two goblins fell to the Killing curse. In ten minutes, the Light lost all ground they had gained against the Dark, forcing them to gather the wounded and Apparate to safety before it was too late. Bellatrix, who had had too much fun taunting her Cruciatus victims, had howled in victory (_Merlin, she does a lot of howling,_ Severus thought) and pushed her mask up, grabbing the nearest man- who just so unfortunately happened to be Severus- and ripped his mask off to reveal his lips, which she pressed forcefully against her own.

Rodolphus swept over angrily and yanked on Bella's arm. "Hey! I'm right here, bitch!" he hissed. She looked at him demurely, and batted her eyes at a still shocked and repulsed Severus.

"Well, he kisses better than you do, dear," she had said seductively, looking pointedly at Severus. He frowned in response.

"I don't touch married women and I don't touch filth. You, Bella, fall under both categories." He said silkily, replacing his mask and Apparating back to the dungeon like room with the rest of the Death Eaters. A furious Bellatrix appeared next to him seconds later, held back by her husband. Lord Voldemort's reddening eyes hovered over the crowd, a satisfied smirk on his face.

"We killed four and wounded many more, my fellows." The silence fell abruptly as everyone turned to face the Dark Lord. "We could have done much better, but I have no doubt that the wizarding world is cowering in fear at this very moment." He inhaled deeply, his oddly disappearing nostrils flaring. "The world will soon be ours for the taking!" he roared amidst thunderous cheers. Severus raised an eyebrow and clapped cynically a few times as the cheers around him continued.

He started when he felt a light touch on his back, trailing lower and side to side. He whirled around to see Bellatrix smile coyly at him, batting her eyelashes and blowing a kiss before slinking away. Severus shuddered inwardly, an unbidden image of a naked Bellatrix threatening to make him sick. Lord Voldemort puts his hands up and the silence returned.

"We have one of you to thank for this, my most loyal and most intellectual double-agent… for obvious reasons I cannot reveal his identity to all of you here-" A shudder rippled through the crowd- it was commonly known that a few Death Eaters had once tried to flee and rat on many other members to the Ministry, but were hunted down and brutally killed in London. "I can, however, tell you that this most trusted person deserves all the praise you give him." The thunderous clapping began yet again, making disoriented bats awaken hours before they should. They circled tumultuously overhead, squeaking frantically. Though they swooped low over the Dark Lord's head, he paid the bats no attention. "We have two specific targets, my fellows, and we must wipe them and their children out at once!"

A Death Eater fell to their knees in front of Lord Voldemort. Severus rolled his eyes, believing it was Bellatrix yet again trying to one-up the others.

"My Lord, tell us who the targets are, and we will crush them swiftly and mercilessly," said the Death Eater. Severus raised an eyebrow- that squeaky, trembling voice sounded halfway familiar… Lord Voldemort simply smiled ruthlessly.

"No." He swept back to his throne-like chair and sat, fingering his robes thoughtfully. "I want constant surveillance. If there is any sort of opening… I will take it. I want all of you to report anything you find out about these people directly to me, and I and I alone will bring them down!" Lord Voldemort announced.

"But My Lord, you have yet to tell us who we are to trail," Lucius Malfoy said regally. Severus held his breath as the Dark Lord smiled horrifically yet again.

"Frank and Alice Longbottom, and James and Lily Potter," he stated.

The crowd began to Disapparated back to their posts or homes, and it was with a whirling, frantically beating heart that he Disapparated straight into Hogwarts despite the wards, gasping and pounding the door to the Headmaster's office. Dumbledore opened the door immediately, hearing the normally restrained man calling out most desperately.

"It's Lily! He thinks it means Lily or Alice! Please, Headmaster, protect Lily!" he begged, shaking too hard to stand. Dumbledore looked down at Severus kindly.

"It is done, Severus. Both families are in hiding right now. I must ask you do not contact Lily Potter until this is all over, and we are sure it is safe." He said. Severus bristled slightly.

"She's still Lily Evans to me," he murmured, his tortured soul writhing at the thought of the danger he'd placed her in.

_I will fight to keep you safe, Lily… I promise._ _Whatever it takes._

_Review!!_


	10. No Time to Relax

_A/N:Awesomeness! I've finished outlining the story :) and I'm so ready to start writing! I need motivation to finish this out... REVIEW!!! And hey guess what... I don't have that much homework for over the weekend! Guess who's planning on writing after finishing all that? THIS GIRL! Read and REVIEW!!_

Two weeks later, Severus found himself pleading- Severus Snape, pleading!- with Lily to calm down.

"Please, Lily, you must calm down! You're going to wake the child shouting like that!" Severus begged, hoping she'd finally quit shouting. Frustrated, Lily jerkily cast a Silencing spell and glared at Severus again.

"I've been stuck in this house for two fucking weeks, Severus, and you're telling me I can't even go out to get my baby more diapers? What the hell, Severus, I need to get out of here! James is…" she huffed, swiping loose hair out of her face- "James is being a prat, and I need time away from him too, you know! Maybe…" Here she wiped her suddenly glistening eyes and sank into a nearby chair. "Sev," she whispered, reaching for his hand, "Maybe I'm not as good a wife as I should be. What other woman wants time away from her husband? Am I a terrible person? Is it wrong to want time away from everything?"

Severus merely shushed her, pulling Lily's small body into his arms. He stroked her scarlet locks as she cried on his shoulder, murmuring soothing words. "I'll tell you what, Lily… If you promise to follow my lead to the letter and you can get James or someone to watch Harry… I'll take you to Diagon Alley. How does that sound?" he asked. She lifted her head and gave him a watery smile. Unable to speak, she merely threw her arms around her best friend, squeezing him tightly.

All too soon, the front door of the rickety shack the Potters were hiding in opened and shut, and Sirius and James' laughter echoed through the thin walls between the entryway and the small sitting room Severus and Lily were in. Lily jumped and dried her eyes quickly before going to greet her husband. They all came through to the sitting room and the men nodded a greeting to Severus.

"Hey, Snape, any ideas on the rat?" Sirius said easily, relaxing into a shabby old couch. He pursed his lips and frowned.

"Actually, no. Short of making the Order drink Veritaserum to prove loyalties, I have no idea how we'll even catch the person unless his or her hood falls at the next meeting," he said grumpily.

Sirius sighed, disappointed. "You're supposed to be Super-Bat-Man-Spy!" he said somewhat comically. James sniggered, and Severus only raised an eyebrow.

"I do believe, Black, that while we are wizards, we are not what Muggles call superheroes," he said pointedly, a shadow of a smirk playing around his mouth. Glancing at the clock, he added, "And I do believe you and Lily are supposed to meet the Headmaster in ten minutes,"

Sirius looked and jumped. Lily grabbed a pot of Floo powder, kissed her husband goodbye and waved to Severus, calling out, "Watch Harry for me!" and undoing her Silencing spell a moment before stepping into the emerald-green flames and calling out, "Hogwarts, Headmaster's office!"

The tiny shack became ominously quiet.

Severus shifted in his seat, and cleared his throat. "Lily wants to get out for a while and get some things she and the baby need. Would you have any problem with me taking her?" he asked.

James huffed a little. "And what's the problem with me taking her? Maybe I want to get out, too!" he retorted. Severus laughed scornfully, feeling that old yet familiar surge of anger rush through him.

"Oh, right, I forgot! You spend your whole day Flooing between here, headquarters, and the Headmaster's office at Hogwarts! I'm sorry, I didn't realize you felt useless and confined, Potter; do forgive me, you arrogant prat," Severus spat, getting to his feet.

Instead of the expected anger, James looked deflated. "She said that?" he asked quietly. "She feels useless?" Severus nodded and James looked ashamedly at his hands. "I… I didn't know that. I though she was fine being here… but then, Lily's always been an outdoorsy sort of person. Merlin! How did I miss that? How did I not catch that she wasn't happy?" James looked up at Severus, blinking shining eyes furiously. "Snape, am I a bad husband?"

_Oh, Merlin. I'm no counselor!_ Severus thought. He sat back down heavily across from James, looking him straight in the eye. "I think you just need to let her get out for a bit, smell fresh air, interact with other people… that sort of thing. She has always been a social person… Seeing the same people every day is probably what's making her go crazy." Severus advised. He sighed heavily, sinking into the plushy loveseat he was in. "And I, for my part, should have realized you'd need a backyard, so Lily could at least go out during the day and plant a garden if she wanted." Mentally, he wrote _ensure next hiding spot has a backyard_ in his to-do list.

James shook his head disbelievingly, his unruly hair flopping side to side with the movement. He rubbed his eyes harshly, pinking the skin around them. "So… will you need the Invisibility Cloak? Or are you planning on something different?" he asked, his face still troubled. Severus inwardly rolled his eyes.

"James Ignotius Potter. Stop feeling so guilty about Lily. You and I both know she's very good at hiding her emotions when something is bothering her. And to answer your question, I was actually thinking of giving her Polyjuice potion. It's less risky than the Cloak." Severus said sternly. "And thankfully, I have a cauldron full of it at Hogwarts- the sixth years are to begin brewing that particular one next week."

James sat up, intrigued. "That's right, you're teaching at Hogwarts now! How is it so far?" he asked.

Severus sighed, a ghost of an exasperated smile on his face. "Definitely not what I thought it'd be, that's for sure… some of those kids are so uninterested in Potions they don't measure carefully enough and get their Potions dreadfully wrong. I've had one Hufflepuff actually melt a cauldron! And I had one of my own students make his Swelling Solution explode, so I had kids with giant ears and noses running around… thank Merlin I thought to brew the antidote just in case."

James laughed easily, pushing his unruly mop out of his face. Just then, a thin wail sounded from the other room- Harry was awake.

Despite the shorter man's best efforts to soothe Harry, the baby simply kept crying, and surprisingly lurched himself in Severus' direction. Wordlessly, James held Harry out to Severus, who awkwardly took him into his arms.

"Hey, he likes you." James said, as Harry snuggled closer to Severus and fell asleep again, his tiny thumb in his mouth. Severus only looked helplessly at James. "You know, Snape, maybe you could be a dad."

Wide-eyed, Severus shook his head. "They're okay like this," he said, indicating Harry, "-but then they learn to talk and call you a meanie and say you're stupid- I don't think I've got the temper to deal with all that, mind. I heard some Gryffindors call me an oppressive bat… I gave them detention."

James smirked. "Hey, don't hate the Gryffindors all on Sirius' and my accounts, Snape! Give them a chance! Maybe they'll be smarter than we were," he joked.

Severus was flustered. Yes, he and James had become something similar to friends, but for James to apologize- even indirectly- for his actions was not something he EVER thought would happen! "Yes, well, they'll just have to prove themselves to me, won't they?" he said offhandedly, pretending not to notice the small puddle of drool baby Harry was leaving on the shoulder of his favorite robes. _Note to self- NEVER wear nice clothes around small children,_ Severus thought resignedly, handing a conked-out Harry back to his father before leaving to make arrangements for his and Lily's visit to Diagon Alley.

Two weeks later, Severus Snape and a plain-looking woman popped into the Leaky Cauldron. Tom, the bartender, waggled his eyebrows.

"New girlfriend, professor?" he asked, his tone suggestive. Severus smirked.

"Something like that. We're just passing through, Tom, nothing to eat just yet," he said. The woman looked at him in surprise, and smartly hit the back of his hand once they were out of earshot.

"Severus Snape! 'Something like that?' Why can't I be a friend, or something?" the woman demanded.

"Because, my dear, right now you are Helen Yarbrough, not Lily Potter," he said smugly. Belying her angry tone, Lily/Helen smiled widely and, as the brick wall behind the Leaky Cauldron opened to admit the two to Diagon Alley, hugged Severus before insisting on stepping into the apothecary.

"I've been thinking about what I can do to keep busy," Helen said, her plain face still beautiful in Severus' eyes. "I decided I could help you with your class… sort of. I mean, if you give me the recipe for some of the potions you need brewed for students to compare to, I can brew them for you and James can take it to you, or you come and pick it up!" She clapped her hands delightedly and tugged his hand, heading inside chattering about what she might need and what did he think he'd rather not brew himself.

Glad she was happy again, Severus laughed (A/N: I bet Sev's laugh was AWESOME) and followed her inside. Together they spent an all-too-short forty-five minutes running around Diagon Alley before Severus insisted they must return.

Holding hands, the two friends Apparated to the hiding place's doorway… or what was once a doorway. The door itself hung listlessly on one hinge, opening into a hallway that was charred black, spitting smoke feebly into the air as the fire ran out of fuel. Flakes of white ash from the half-gone roof floated down around them like a perverse version of snow, making Lily/Helen's blanched face even whiter as she looked up and saw the giant Dark Mark glittering ominously in the sky.

Lily and Severus could do nothing but stare at the smoldering ruin that was the shack. Heart pounding in his throat, Severus grabbed Lily around the waist as she screamed and tried to run inside the smoky shack and Apparated to Hogwarts' gates, desperate to get her to safety before her time under the Polyjuice potion ran out.

_Review!_


	11. To Catch a Traitor

**To Catch A Traitor**

_A/N: My longest chapter yet! Little bit of comic relief... yeah, it's a serious story, but it doesn't have to be TOO serious... anyway, REVIEW!!! And tell me what you think's going to happen... I'm curious, I want to know what direction everyone thinks I'm going in!_

As soon as Lily and Severus burst into Hogwarts' entrance hall, the Polyjuice potion began wearing off. Dirty blonde hair started to redden and curl as it grew, and terrified blue eyes turned an iridescent aqua before green specks appeared and began covering the blue. She collapsed, grunting in pain as her skin bubbled and became a few shades darker and her bones lengthened to her original height.

Slinging her over his shoulder, Severus raced to the Headmaster's office, marveling at how light Lily was. As they reached the stone gargoyle it promptly leapt aside without waiting for a password and the staircase spiraled upward faster than normal, as though they could sense the urgency behind the matter. Severus threw the door wide open, startling a baby Fawkes off his perch with an indignant "_CHEEP!_"

Lily jerked in surprise hearing Fawkes, throwing Severus off balance and the two fell painfully to the floor. As he fell he had received a frantic kick in the face, resulting in him crying out, "Merlin's balls!" as he landed face down underneath Lily, thoroughly winded from the impact and an elbow digging into his midsection. Aching all over, the two managed to sit up as Dumbledore began to speak.

"Merlin didn't have balls, Severus, he had testicles," Professor Dumbledore gently reprimanded (he was insistent about calling things what they really were), having witnessed the entire scene from behind his desk. He bent over and picked up baby Fawkes, who was still chittering mutinously, and placed him back onto the perch. "I assume you saw the shack… James and Harry are safe. Luckily they were able to Floo out and seal the fireplace behind them just as the Death Eaters arrived. As you were in Diagon Alley we could not get word to you quickly enough, as I assumed you'd be returning soon… and for obvious reasons we could not have left a note telling you they were safe." Professor Dumbledore leaned forward and smiled slightly. "And I must admit that whole scene just before this serious conversation was quite amusing… It is certainly wonderful to be able to smile even in these dark times, don't you think?" He leaned back, twiddling his thumbs with a barely-supressed grin on his wise face.

Lily huffed after she stood, charming the robes to fit her better. "I'm glad you were amused, _Professor_, " she said grindingly, gritting her teeth, "-But I want to know where my son and my husband are. Preferably now."

Professor Dumbledore merely nodded, his lips puckering from the lemon drops he loved so much. "He said you should know where he is inside the castle. It would be best to hurry; the students' lunch period has just started and it wouldn't do to be seen."

Casting Dumbledore a quick look, the two hurried down to the Room of Requirement.

Immediately, Lily gave James what looked like a bone-crushing hug and kissed Harry's teary cheeks, thanking Merlin they were alright. Severus and James clasped hands quickly, as is typical of men. (A/N: you know what I'm talking about… the man-shake…) Lily was beside herself with relief, hugging Harry so tightly he whimpered slightly before returning the hug with a sloppy kiss and endearing smile.

"Oh my poor baby! You must have been so scared! Oh, dear, Mommy won't let the bad men get you, I promise!" she said, kissing Harry's cheeks over and over.

James said jokingly, "Hey, what about me? I was scared too!" He opened his arms for Lily, who smiled slightly.

"Ask Severus to kiss your boo-boos, James, I'm busy." Lily said coyly, pretending to walk away from him. James sighed and shook his head.

He turned to Severus and said mournfully, "You know, she used to do that here at Hogwarts all the time. She made me go to someone else when I got hurt!" Severus smiled as James chuckled, but the smile never reached his eyes- his Slytherin brain was busy trying to think of another safer hiding place.

A thought struck Severus. He turned to the young Potter family, who were still shaken by the day's events, and asked, "Did you ever have any visitors besides Sirius? Who else do you tell when you move?"

James shrugged. "Just Dumbledore, Peter, and Remus." He realized the implications, and his jaw dropped in horror. "You don't think… do you think either Peter or Remus are the spy?"

Severus' eyes blazed. "It has to be. If you don't tell anyone else, it has to be one of them. There's no way Sirius would betray you two… he thinks of you as family after all…. Unless he's been Imperiused… I am definitely going to make sure of that next time I see him… "

Lily looked at him strangely. "You have Veritaserum?" she asked. Severus nodded, and pulled out a small vial of colorless liquid from his pocket- thankfully, he had charmed the vial to be Unbreakable.

"I've been carrying it with me for about three days. I figured if I saw Pettigrew or Lupin out and about I could… er… verify their loyalty," he said, his voice lowering almost to a growl.

What happened next would be something Severus would remember for the rest of his life with a degree of shame. Lily handed Harry to James and, with a curious ruthless gleam in her eye, threw herself at Severus so quickly he had no time to brace himself. He fell backward and Lily swiped the dropped vial in an instant. Severus, thoroughly winded, was gasping for breath and sputtered as she emptied the contents into his mouth and nose.

"What the hell, Lily?!" James said, stepping back as Severus sat up spluttering and wiping excess potion off of his face.

Lily only stood up, looking wild, and said, "I have to know." Severus glared at her, but stayed sitting on the floor so she wouldn't try anything else radical.

"Then ask away." Severus said, narrowing his eyes. How could she think he'd ever hurt her!

"What's your full name?"

"Severus Tobias Snape." He tried in vain to rub the excess potion onto his robes, but the Veritaserum- though it looked like water- was as thick as oil and stuck to the stubble he'd been too lazy to remove.

"Are you a Death Eater?" Severus rolled his eyes.

"Yes."

"Are you loyal to You-Know-Who?"

"No."

"Why is your hair so greasy?" James interjected, a goofy grin on his face.

Severus, in spite of himself, smiled. "Because I spend hours over a cauldron brewing potions with heavy fumes."

"But why was it greasy during school?" he added, cowering slightly under Lily's fierce gaze.

"Partly because I spent some of my free time in the dungeons brewing potions for practice, and partly because I didn't care to wash my hair every single day." James laughed.

"I knew it! I knew you didn't wash your hair every day!" he said, his laughter making Harry giggle as well.

Reddening, Severus retorted, "Yes, well, you weren't exactly the cleanest person in the world either! I saw you pick your nose several times, James Potter, and wipe it off on your robes!"

"ENOUGH!" Lily snapped at James. She turned to Severus with an apologetic look on her face. "I'm sorry Sev, I had to know. Will you forgive me?" She looked at him so sweetly that even under Veritaserum, Severus could feel his initial anger ebbing away and he nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

"We need to find you a place to hide. And I think it's time for the Fidelius Charm." Severus stated. "It's a complicated spell, which hides a location inside someone's soul from everyone but the people involved in the spell and anyone the Secret-Keeper tells. It's practically foolproof. But I think I should be allowed to make sure Lupin and Pettigrew are truly on our side."

James looked excited. "Hey, we're supposed to have an Order meeting today in Dumbledore's office and I have my Invisibility Cloak! Mad-Eye's on duty tonight at the Ministry, so there's no chance of you getting caught."

Severus was impressed. "Good of you to carry it around," he said.

James smiled bitterly. "Couldn't let the Death Eaters get it, after all,"

Abashed, Severus cleared his throat and looked at the floor… he'd forgotten about the attack in all the ruckus over the Veritaserum-_my last vial, too_ he thought wistfully.

Lily nodded decisively. "Alright then, it's decided. We'll leave Harry with a house-elf-" she paused- she absolutely hated leaving Harry- "-And Sev, you can take the Invisibility Cloak, and you can use that Legilimency thing to make sure they're on our side."

James checked his watch. "Well, we've got a few hours… and several books on the subject… and food… and beds! Wow, I forgot how amazing this room is!" James exclaimed, putting Harry in a high chair and nearly diving head first into a plate of steak and potatoes.

Grateful for the change in subject, Severus and Lily turned their attention to other things, and time flew by unnoticed.

It felt as though only an hour had passed when James nudged the two bookworms and told them the Order meeting was in fifteen minutes. Severus sat up straight, feeling the time spent in his cramped back. Lily called a house elf to watch Harry for her as Severus hurriedly wrote down a few more notes and James unfolded the Invisibility Cloak.

"I love teaching," Severus muttered softly, relieved to see the Veritaserum had worn off. He smirked at his change of opinion over a mere five weeks of teaching and turned to see Lily and James kissing a sleeping Harry goodbye, while a tiny wizened house elf assured them in her squeaky voice that babysitting was no trouble for her at all.

"Well, Lily and I will go to Dumbledore's under the Cloak, and then when we get there, we'll let you have it and we'll try to get you in a corner so no one bumps into you on accident," James said, already disappearing with Lily under the Cloak.

Severus led the way to the Headmaster's office and took the cloak once they were on the spiraling staircase. The door opened and Severus was careful to walk very close behind Lily, barely missing the heavy door on his foot as it closed behind him. The rest of the Order was already in Dumbledore's office, which looked as though it has been magically expanded. The three made their way to a back corner, and Severus took great care not to brush anyone. He wrapped the Cloak tighter around himself and squeezed behind Lily into a corner. He leaned back and let out a sigh of relief, looking around at some familiar and not-so-familiar faces.

Molly and Arthur Weasley were holding hands, talking to Professor McGonagoll about their eldest son coming to Hogwarts- "I'm simply afraid, you know, Bill is SUCH a shy child," Mrs. Weasley said. Severus turned his attention to the rest of the room, wondering if anyone else could be the accursed spy. A few of the Order members asked James if he and Harry were alright, having already heard of the Death Eater attack. Remus and Peter, both looking pale and shaking, fretted over their friends and offered any help they could provide.

Dumbledore stood and began the meeting, stressing the need for a better hiding place for the Potters, as they somehow had been found. "I am only grateful the Longbottoms are still safe," he said, looking every bit his old age.

Severus paid no attention to the rest of the meeting as the Order argued about other hiding places and what sorts of charms and spells they could place on it for the Potters' protection. Instead, he scanned the room for suspicious actions from the members, but that was to no avail- everyone was quaking at the thought of what had almost happened to James and Harry.

"Legilimens!" he muttered softly, staring into Remus' eyes as he talked to James. He felt the familiar swooping sensation that came with seeing someone's thoughts, and concentrated on separating the images he saw.

Severus saw the full moon, and heard howling in his ears. The scene changed and he saw Lily at St. Mungo's, tired but exhilarated after giving birth to Harry. Then he saw Remus in werewolf form scratching and biting himself in the Shrieking Shack, then Remus at graduation, then Lily and James' wedding, and then ultimate fear at hearing the Potter safehouse had been demolished by Death Eaters.

Satisfied that Remus was not the spy, Severus turned his attention to Sirius, who was leaning against the far wall, his form rigid. Severus felt pure and unadulterated hatred toward the Dark Lord, and exited Sirius' mind. He then turned to Peter, who was still quivering in his seat.

After the swooping sensation faded, Severus could not believe what he saw permeating Peter Pettgrew's frantic mind.

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	12. The Fidelius Charm

**The Fidelius Charm**

_A/N: Whew! I finally found my way out of that mountain of homework to bring you yet another chapter! And I found time to write a short (and I mean short) oneshot, One Crazy Sunday. I always wondered if the wizarding world practised religion... anyway, read, enjoy, and REVIEW!!!!_

Severus was instantly slammed with heart-pumping, white-knuckled, cold-sweat-dripping-down your-face fear as he slid into Peter Pettigrew's mind. He was afraid of dueling against the Death Eaters, he was afraid of the Dark Lord; Peter was simply afraid of everything. Severus sneered at the cowardice the short, fat man had and tried to delve deeper. It was no good- everything Peter was thinking of was connected to the overall intense fear, making it impossible for Severus to determine what the blurred, fleeting memories were.

The only other feeling Severus was able to distinguish the rest of the Order meeting was reverence, attached to a memory of meeting James Potter and Sirius Black. Disappointed and not quite satisfied, Severus withdrew just as the meeting ended, and carefully he exited between Lily and James, muttering in Lily's ear what he had found.

Out of eyesight of the rest of the Order, Severus slipped off the Cloak and handed it to James. He muttered a goodbye and made his way down to his chambers, his mind whirling with everything that had just happened.

"Dumbledore decided the Fidelius Charm was our best bet after we showed him all of our research on it. He's going to perform it tomorrow night, and Sirius will be our Secret Keeper- you knew that, I'm sure," James said to Severus the next day, stretching out on a moth-eaten couch. Because no safe house was either available or truly safe, Dumbledore himself had insisted the Potters stay in the rarely used guest wing of Hogwarts, reinforcing the castle's wards with some of his own so no uninvited person would unwittingly stray into the guest wing.

"And where will you hide?" Severus asked, doing his best to ignore the year-old child pulling on his robes. Lily tutted at him and Severus obligingly bent down and scooped Harry into his arms, grateful the boy had more or less stopped drooling copiously. He looked down at Harry, who peered back at him with curious green eyes before grinning and throwing his tiny arms over as much of Severus as he could reach. Lily smiled dreamily at the sight.

James smiled. "That's the best part. We finally get to go home, back to Godric's Hollow. It's going to be so great living in a respectable place again- not that I didn't appreciate what you found for us," James added, remembering Severus had found all the hiding spots the Potter family had used. "So, you never told me what you found out at the Order meeting."

Severus shrugged. "I don't know what to make of it, honestly. I checked Sirius just to be sure, and I was satisfied that he and Remus were loyal to the Light. Peter, I'm not so sure about… the man has so much fear in him for me to trust. There was nothing but fear and his mind was racing, so I couldn't quite catch anything." Severus rubbed his tired eyes with his free hand, careful not to jostle Harry too much. "I don't trust him. I'm going to keep an eye out for him at the Death Eater meetings, just in case."

James scoffed. "Peter's scared of everything! That doesn't mean he's Dark. Peter's the last person in my circle of friends that I'd expect to go Dark."

Severus doubted that statement, but said nothing. Lily looked just as dubious and said, "Well, Sev, you do have to admit that Peter's a bit of a scaredy-cat… I just can't see him summoning the courage to go to You-Know-Who and all. I just really don't."

"What do you want me to say? Lupin showed me nothing that was the slightest bit suspicious. And Pettigrew was scared out of his mind but I couldn't discern why. If I couldn't pick out what his fear was, how can you expect me to trust him? I believe your spy is Pettigrew. If you don't want to believe me, that is a risk that you are taking. You must believe me," Severus said, turning to Lily.

James smiled slightly, saying, "Sorry, Snape, that just doesn't seem even the least bit possible. You're jumping to conclusions. Peter's definitely afraid of fighting the Death Eaters and all, and he was probably just afraid of what we went through happening to him."

"It was not 'jumping to conclusions', I'm telling you everything I saw only gave me reason to distrust him," Severus stated, starting to become irritated. Lily pursed her lips, thinking.

"Is there not even a slight chance, however slight that chance might be, that you're really just not sure whether or not Peter can be trusted?" Lily asked. Severus narrowed his eyes defiantly, but reluctantly nodded. Harry squirmed, and Severus was only too happy to let him down- young children made him nervous.

"See?" James said. "You can't prove he's Dark. Case closed! I'm going to go talk to Dumbledore about this Fidelius charm; I'll be back in a little while," he said, disappearing under the Invisibilty Cloak.

Severus shook his head disbelievingly as the door opened and shut by an unseen hand. "Lily… how did you go from hating James to being married to him?" he said incredulously.

Lily blushed slightly, her eyes going out of focus as she thought back. "Well, he finally grew up. He stopped pestering you, and he stopped pestering me too. I have to admit I liked the attention, although I said he was arrogant and a git… and when he stopped asking me every day to go on a date with him, I realized I missed the attention he gave me. He became really nice to me, and every once in a while on rounds he'd have a flower he picked from the courtyard for me, or a chocolate frog or some other small gift." She smiled, lost in her thoughts. "One night, we caught some fourth-year Ravenclaws kissing behind a suit of armor on the fourth floor and when I was trying to sneak up on them, Peeves dropped a water balloon on my head. I would have fallen down the staircase next to the armor if James hadn't caught me. And then I kissed him." Lily sighed, a tiny smile on her face. "I definitely saw those fireworks I told you about in the muggle romance movies,"

Stung, Severus decided not to point out their curious, innocent kiss second year in the library and her claim of seeing fireworks then… even though he should have known better, as she had decided the next day that she'd rather stay friends. He grimaced and Harry giggled, trying to twist his face into the same expression.

"Sevvus! Up, Sevvus!" he said, lifting teensy arms back up to Severus. Lily looked over and smiled when Severus groaned.

"I told you, Severus, not to copy James! Harry loves heights, and he knows you throw him higher than James can," Lily admonished, turning her attention back to repacking the family's bags. Rolling his eyes, Severus cast a levitating charm on Harry, bouncing him up and down amid squeals of delight.

Just as Harry decided he wanted down, James burst through the door looking disheveled and Cloakless.

"Whew! I had to run the last stretch; classes let out and I think a student almost saw me- Dumbledore was really impressed when I showed him the Cloak and wanted to take a good look so I left it with him." James said, pushing unruly hair out of his eyes. He looked to Lily, who had just finished repacking, and said, "Oh, good, you're done. Dumbledore's decided he wants to perform the charm now, since the Death Eaters aren't as likely to attack in broad daylight. He said he'll he here in a few minutes with a portkey to Godric's Hollow and Sirius, as our Secret-Keeper."

Severus decided to tag along. _After all, I AM a friend… and I could definitely help with the protection of the Potters,_ he told himself.

An hour later the Potters, Dumbledore, Sirius, and Severus were standing just outside of the house. The group stepped inside the slightly musty house and Dumbledore ended the Disillusionment charm that had hidden the Potters from view.

"Now, Mister Black, if you would stand right here… James, Lily, if you would link hands with Sirius in the middle… Severus, would you hold Harry please? I'd hate for him to get hurt or in the way," Dumbledore directed, his long nose stuck in an ancient text as he directed everyone to their places. Severus grumbled and picked up Harry, who contented himself with Playing with Severus' shoulder-length (and very clean, as he had taken to _scourgify_ing his hair between classes since the Veritaserum incident) hair, uninterested in what the adults were doing.

"This will protect Harry too, right? Even though he's not in the circle?" Sirius asked, concern etching fine lines across his handsome face, Dumbledore nodded absently.

"This spell works best with fully qualified wizards and witches in the circle, but it will extend to anyone in this house, as that is what is ultimately under the Fidelius Charm," he said, his long finger running down the text as he reread the incantations.

"Alright then, after you perform this incantation, Sirius, you'll need to come outside and tell Severus and myself the address, as it will force us outside during the incantation." Dumbledore stated, closing the heavy book with a snap. "James, Lily, you will say fidemus servis, and Sirius, you will respond with sum semper fidelis. Do you understand?" Everyone nodded. "Good. Begin."

James and Lily took a deep breath, and even Sirius was appropriately somber. Harry turned to his parents, curiosity evident in his eyes.

"Fidemus servis," James and Lily said, their hands clasped so that their wandtips touched. A spark of pale blue light flickered from the wandtips and grew over the three so that they were enveloped in the spell.

Sirius smiled slightly and touched his wand to James' and Lily's. "Sum semper fidelis," he said, and the spell became a deep, dark blue.

The sound of wind roaring in his ears caught Severus off guard, and he realized he was standing just outside of the house- but the house was gone. Sirius appeared out of nowhere, breathless, and said, "Number 15 Godric's Hollow," to him and to Dumbledore, who looked positively delighted, and the house seemed to grow very fast out of the ground. Stunned, Severus, Harry, and Dumbledore walked inside, where James and Lily were tiredly sitting near the fireplace.

"It worked… and I'm so TIRED…" James said, conjuring a few bottles of butterbeer onto the coffee table. Severus put Harry down, who ran to his mother, and stood, surveying the room critically.

"I'm going to put up a few wards," he said distractedly. Severus stood and walked around the house, muttering to himself. _Being paranoid never hurts,_ he thought to himself as he conjured fireplaces in every bedroom upstairs. He set the fireplaces to Floo only to his office at Hogwarts and at Spinner's End. If Dumbledore deemed it necessary, he'd have to place the Headmaster's office as a destination himself.

Letting himself out into the also-hidden backyard, Severus set up Intent Wards, which would block anyone of ill will out as long as the Fidelius Charm stayed strong- that is, less than twenty of-age people knowing the location. He let himself back in and everyone looked up at him expectantly.

"I've placed a fireplace in every bedroom upstairs; should anything happen, you can Floo either to my office at Hogwarts or to my house, Spinner's End. I've limited the network so no one tries to Floo in- including those of us who know where you are- and you can only Floo out to those places. There's an Intent Ward around the property now- that one feeds off of the Fidelius Charm, so if something should happen and the Fidelius falls, so does the Intent Ward. Unfortunately, that's the only way I could set it."

Dumbledore smiled. "Bravo, Severus! I was going to do exactly that. I'll just fiddle with the Floo settings and add my office, and that's that." He turned to James and Lily with a stern look on his face. "Now, listen closely because I only will say this once. I believe we have a spy in the Order, as you know. Do not allow everyone you know to know where you are. The Fidelius Charm is a tricky sort of charm, and if more than twenty witches and wizards know of your location, the charm will fall and you will be vulnerable. If you ever need to switch Secret-Keepers, simply repeat what we've done today with your new Keeper and that's it. You will, however, need to allow Sirius back in, as he won't technically know where you are. You can only have one Secret-Keeper at a time, unless the Keeper dies- then anyone who knows the location becomes a Secret-Keeper." He smiled and waved, then stood silently and walked outside, Apparating away.

James and Lily looked at each other, bewildered. "So we only tell Peter and Remus?" Lily asked rhetorically. Severus shook his head.

"No. Lupin only."

James rolled his eyes. "Snape thinks Peter might be the spy, because there's so much fear in him," he informed Sirius, who threw his head back and laughed raucously.

"Snape, mate, that's ridiculous! Yeah, he's a spineless coward, but he's Light through and through. Moony, on the other hand…" he lowered his voice almost conspiringly, "-I saw Moony walking out of Knockturn Alley the other day, with two or three grungy wizards following him."

Severus waved Sirius' concern away. "He's talking to other werewolves and getting the undecided ones on our side. That's it. Dumbledore told me about it,"

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "If you say so," he said, unconvinced. "Either way, I personally don't trust him. And I still think I'm too obvious of a Secret-Keeper," Sirius added, turning to James with a slight frown on his face. "Everyone knows we're best friends. I'm too obvious of a Secret-Keeper, and you and I both know that."

Lily sighed, exasperated. "Then, who would you have be our Secret-Keeper? Who do you think is the least obvious person we could have? And don't say Severus, because there's enough pressure on him as it is,"

Sirius spread his arms out as if to say, isn't it obvious? "The least brave of us all! Peter," he said, crossing his arms definitively.

Severus felt a flicker of dread touch his mind.


	13. Fear

**Fear**

_A/N: Whoo... Severus gets a crush! Ah, don't let me ruin it for you... get to reading! And reviewing! I need motivation to keep on going, and you don't want to be the reason I left you at a cliffy for weeks do you? Enjoy!_

Severus scoffed. "Pettigrew's name comes up again, in spite of what I've told you? How thick are you, really?"

James scowled again, but Lily started to look worried. "Love, couldn't we have Remus as our Secret-Keeper? As a werewolf, he'll be more able physically to protect himself," she asked, a hint of dread in her eyes.

Sirius frowned at her. "You getting paranoid, too, Lily?" he asked. Discomfited, Lily clasped her hands together tightly.

"Well, there must be some reason he's that afraid, knowing Dumbledore's on our side… and anyway, don't Animagi forms tell you something about the person? May I remind you he's a rat?? What if Sev's right?"

Sirius smiled indulgently and waved her concerns away. "Lily, that's an old wives' tale. Why would I be a dog? I'm not flea-ridden… hey!" he added as Severus snorted at the comment.

"Because you are an ass-kissing, sickeningly loyal person. Potter's a stag because both are insufferably proud," Severus answered. Rage flicked across Sirius' face for a moment, before seeming to consider the statement, something like realization dawning on his face. James looked meek for a second, before seeming to realize the same thing as Sirius.

"Maybe you're right… I told him we were going under the Fidelius, though… yeah, maybe Sirius as Secret-Keeper was a bad idea…" he said, a look of horror overtaking his features. Severus, Lily, and Sirius jumped.

"Are you bloody serious? You didn't!" Sirius demanded. James dropped the look of dread and stared at him pointedly.

"I'm not retarded, you know… hey!" Severus had snorted again. The Dark Mark burned white-hot out of nowhere. Severus clutched his left forearm. He nodded a quick goodbye and stepped out, Apparating to the Dark Lord's side.

Severus landed heavily in a cold, leafless forest. A thin fog swirled lazily close to the forest floor, wrapping his ankles sinuously as a few other people arrived. Severus realized Lord Voldemort had called an inner circle meeting and hurried forward with the others, crowding around the powerful figure. Disgustedly, Severus realized the Dark Lord's eyes were completely bloodshot and the pallor of his skin seemed to make them stand out, the pupils now oddly slitlike.

Lord Voldemort surveyed the huddle with a twisted sneer. "My informant tells me the Potters and the Longbottoms are now permanently in hiding. The fools think it will be impossible for us to find them… they don't realize just how far our arms reach," he jeered. "Malfoy, have you any information from the Ministry as to their whereabouts?" he asked, drawing himself up impressively.

Lucius fell swiftly and reverently to his knees. "My Lord, I assure I shall inform you the second I hear anything." Lord Voldemort looked pleased and moved on to Bellatrix.

"Bella, have you heard anything in the Auror division?" She shook her head regretfully, practically panting over her master. Her Auror-in-training patch stood out from her robes, haphazardly stitched on.

"No, master, but I have reason to suspect one of the Aurors is in the Order, and maybe I will hear something soon," she said instantly, bowing awkwardly.

Severus tuned out as the Dark Lord asked everyone specifically (_reading their thoughts, no doubt_ he mused) if they had anything worthy to report. Severus, since being included in the inner circle, was always questioned last.

"And you, Severus? Has the senile old coot slipped anything of importance yet?" the Dark Lord asked silkily, the slight hiss in his voice sending shivers down Severus' spine. He forced himself to shake his head and look bored, strengthening his Occlumency shields unconsciously.

"Nothing. He looks haggard lately; quite obviously he was shaken by the attack," Severus said smoothly. The Dark Lord's bloodless lips curled into a thin sneer as his eyes bored into Severus'. Just as Severus sensed Lord Voldemort pulling back and he relaxed a fraction of his shields, the Legilimens doubled his efforts and frantically Severus threw up his shields, although a single memory floated out- a memory of a shock of black hair and a high-pitched giggle disappearing around the Hogwarts guest wing quarters.

Lord Voldemort's face contorted with rage. "What is the meaning of this, Snape? You dare try and lie to me? _Crucio!_" he roared. Severus' very nerve endings were on fire, and he tried his hardest not to cry out. The group of Death Eaters watched impassively as the Dark Lord held Severus under the Cruciatus for close to five minutes, spitting obscenities and throwing Severus' body around the hard, rocky ground wandlessly. He felt his arm snap and a traitorous whimper slipped past Severus' lips. Lord Voldemort lifted the curse, his slitted eyes dangerously narrowed.

"Not… lying… couldn't… follow… visitor…" Severus managed to say, his exhausted and battered body unable to do much more. He just managed to hold off the Dark Lord's attack into his memory by feeding the maniacal man a memory of trying to follow the source but being blocked by wards, but only just. Black spots began appearing in his vision, but Severus willed himself to stay conscious and sat up gingerly, favoring his right arm.

Roughly, Lord Voldemort grabbed Severus' chin and forced the battered man to meet his eyes. Finding nothing but the memory he'd already seen, he sneered and said, "See that you don't lie, Severus; I'll be forced to kill you," He Disapparated away and the rest of the inner circle followed suit, too scared of retribution to even help Severus to his feet.

Yellow eyes appeared in the thick bushes near Severus, accompanied by a low and throaty growl. Thanks to adrenaline, he managed to Disapparate to the Hogwarts gates moments before the grey wolf jumped into the small clearing to claim its meal.

Professor Dumbledore rushed to unlock the gates, his silver hair blowing about wildly. His missing hat and severely rumpled robes were testament to the surprising agility with which he had responded to Severus' fox Patronus. With a look of deep regret and compassion, he kneeled beside Severus, who had fallen unconscious after sending the message, and brushed the dirt away from his pallid face.

Deciding not to put Poppy Pomfrey in danger should she see Severus' Dark Mark, Dumbledore splinted the broken arm and Side-Along Apparated to a small cottage in the midst of a wooded area. Quickly, he penned a note for Severus and another for his caretaker and returned to Hogwarts with a heart that was heavier than it had ever been.

Three hours later, Severus awoke to the feeling of cool water and soft cloth on his face. He forced his heavy eyelids open, starting when he realized who was taking care of him.

"An-Andromeda?" he croaked. She smiled at him and put a finger to his cracked lips.

"You gave me quite a scare," she said, her voice music to Severus' ears after the Dark Lord's snakelike hiss. "You're quite the mess. You must have made You-Know-Who really angry to do this much damage to you. Oh, and Dumbledore left you a note on the side table." Andromeda picked up a cup of water with slender- and ringless, Severus noted- fingers, tipping it into his mouth. He drank deeply, grateful to be rid of his parched throat.

Noting how bruised and battered he felt, Severus wondered idly if he'd be able to return to teaching classes soon. Brushing that thought aside, he reminisced about his first year at Hogwarts and meeting Andromeda Black in the Slytherin common room. Lily teased him the entire year about having a crush on a seventh year student, although at the time Severus thought he did a great job hiding it. He scowled slightly as he thought back to all the times he had offered to get Andromeda a drink from the kitchens, or presenting her with quills, ink, or parchment as she ran out doing her homework. Every time she had smiled sweetly and accepted, and (_pathetic_, he thought) he'd immediately dropped what he was doing to get whatever she'd needed.

Andromeda sat back with a frown. "I've done what I can, Severus; you just need time to heal now. I suppose having to heal a lot of those cuts and bruises the Muggle way is because of that Dark curse…" she said, sweeping dark brown hair away from her face. Andromeda tenderly helped Severus sit up, and she fluffed several pillows so that he could stay sitting up in bed. He sank back into the comfy pillows, exhausted by the simple act of sitting up. Andromeda left the room, seeing his exhaustion.

Curious, Severus reached for the note on the bedside table and managed to grasp it and bring it to him.

_Severus,_

_I've de__cided to send you to the__ current Order headquarters. Your room is sealed off by many wards to everyone except myself and Andromeda, who graciously has accepted to nurse you back to health. I will ensure your classes are covered, so do not worry about your students. Simply focus on getting better- you've taken quite a beating, and I am terribly sorry for that._

_Albus Dumbledore_

Too tired to even place the note back onto the bed, Severus fell deeply asleep.

The next day, Severus awoke to see sunlight peeking through a nearby window. The clock on the wall opposite the bed read nine in the morning, and Severus realized he was terribly hungry. Looking down at himself, he was astounded to see huge purplish-black bruises up and down his arms and legs. He lifted his shirt (Andromeda must have taken his robes off- he felt a funny jolt in his stomach as he realized this) to see three large bruises on his pale torso and lost all desire to try and stand just then.

Luckily, Andromeda knocked twice on the door and walked through with breakfast on a tray just as he pulled the covers back over himself. He nodded thanks and devoured his meal as Andromeda sat by him and waited for him to finish.

"Restroom?" she asked. He nodded, and shakily got to his feet on his own- even as hurt as he was, Severus was just too proud to ask for help. He tried not to think of how battered he must look and self-consciously tugged on his shirt and boxers, looking around for his robes. "They're washing," she said to him, handing Severus a terry bath robe instead, which he stuffed his wand into. She followed him to the restroom, arms out in case he stumbled. He gripped the cracked porcelain sink and steadied himself in front of the toilet. Andromeda looked at him pityingly and shut the door, allowing him to take care of his needs himself.

Over the next few days, Severus and Andromeda spent hours talking (as Andromeda- or Andy, as she'd insisted- didn't let him get out of bed unless he needed to) about everything under the sun, from teaching at Hogwarts to the war.

Severus' long-buried crush rekindled and he tried his hardest not to make a fool of himself this time around. The third day, he was able to gingerly get around on his own, and insisted on helping Andy keep house, since there'd be an Order meeting the next evening. Even though he knew he wasn't allowed to go, Severus was burning with curiosity as to how the war was going- the wards on Andy's house were so strong even the Daily Prophet owls couldn't find them; Severus suspected the successful Fidelius Charm at the Potter house had assured Professor Dumbledore the charm was safe to use. He made Andy promise she'd give him a detailed account of the meeting, hoping to hear that Lily was still safe.

As Severus padded around his room, he tried to concentrate on strengthening his Occlumency shields so that another accidental slip wouldn't occur. He concentrated on imagining steel doors catching all the truths in his life as he paced, absently rubbing his formerly broken arm. His lips twitched slightly as he felt his shields begin to grow and stay stronger than they'd ever been.

Severus spent the next evening glued to the door of his room. All the wards Andy and Dumbledore had cast to protect and hide him also kept any sort of listening spell from working properly. Priding himself on his foresight, Severus spotted a half-full cup of pumpkin juice on the bedside table. He tossed back the remainder of the juice and put it up to the doctor, pressing his ear against it impatiently.

Bits of the hushed Order meeting reached Severus' news-starved ears. Not wanting to miss anything, he pressed his ear more firmly against the glass, stretching slightly to keep his back from aching. He grunted as his back popped satisfyingly, and settled himself in for the long haul.

"-gret to inform… Longbottoms are at St. Mungo's, after going insane….Cruciatus…" The world tipped dangerously for Severus as he fought not to be sick. He couldn't even begin to imagine that sort of pain… it had taken him a week to heal from five measly minutes; to go insane they must have been under the Cruciatus off and on for several long hours! He shuddered at the thought, but brightened considerably when he heard Dumbledore say he'd visited the Potters, and they were fine- although a little bored, and shifty for some reason- Severus hoped that was because they finally decided to change Secret-Keepers.

"What about …. Ministry's auror division?" Severus heard Arthur Weasly ask.

Moody's wooden leg thunked on the floor. "Infiltrated," the man spat. "Bellatrix Lestrange- saw her Mark… no proof."

The Order battled back and forth for a bit about whether there was any way to prove Bellatrix was a Death Eater and just as Severus felt he could rip his hair out in boredom, he heard a door frantically open and slam shut.

"Moony? MOONY?" he heard Sirius yell, as the Order exclaimed in surprise and indignance. "Dumbledore- they switched Keepers to Remus… Death Eaters got him, his place is torn apart… can't find him!"

An electric jolt of fear raced through Severus. Afraid for Lily's (and, begrudgingly, James' and Harry's) life, Severus shot a powerful Reductor at the far wall, effectively shattering the Anti-Apparition wards. Ignoring the rubble and the terrified shrieks from the other room, Severus marched out and Apparated to the Potter home, his heart beating frantically against his still-sore chest.


	14. Hide and Seek

**Hide and Seek**

_A/N: Whoo! Another chapter! Damn I'm good! But I might start running low on steam... help me keep the story going! Review and show me love so that I can continue to write! Now enjoy!_

"LILY!" Severus bellowed as he landed in front of the house, beating on the door wildly. A bewildered James opened the door and barely stepped out of the way as Severus barreled inside, his robes speckled with the rubble from Andy's house. Lily, just as bewildered, ran down the staircase. Crossing the living room in a few great strides, Severus nearly crushed Lily in a relieved bear hug.

"Um… nice to see you too…" Lily said, awkwardly patting his back. He heard James huff and realized that he, Severus Snape, a Slytherin who was supposed to be really damn good at hiding his feelings, was practically breaking his best friend's ribs with a hug- that sort of thing was for other House members! He let go quickly, relief still leaving him feeling lightheaded.

"You're okay," he said embarrassedly. He shook some dust out of his hair, unconsciously rubbing his tingling Dark Mark.

Lily looked Severus over with a critical eye. "Dumbledore told us what happened," she said worriedly, searching his face for telltale signs of hurt. "I wish he'd sent you here; you'd have been safer what with the Fidelius and all… but I bet you loved being with Andromeda, huh Sev?" Lily added, her eyes sparkling playfully.

Severus waved that away. "Never mind that, grab your things! Black can't find Lupin; he says the place has been torn apart. The Dark Lord got to the Longbottoms after all- he's still looking for you. Grab your things! Go!" he said urgently, scanning the street through the front window for anything suspicious.

A soft thump surprised him, and he turned to see James had fallen heavily, ashen-faced, onto the couch. Lily's face, though pale, was fierce. She strode out into the hallway and returned with three small bags. "I thought this might happen," she said quietly. "I placed an Undetectable Extension Charm and a Feather-Light Charm on these bags and packed them after the Fidelius Charm was placed… just in case." A lone tear snaked down her cheek and she wiped it away impatiently, struggling to keep the sobs out of her voice. "Where are we going, Sev?"

The magnitude of the burden crashed on Severus' shoulders. Pushing the voices of doubt away, he said, "Spinner's End. No one but Lucius knows I still live there." Lily had a sleeping Harry over her shoulder already, and James had shakily gotten to his feet and grabbed the enchanted bags. The three adults Flooed to Spinner's End after sealing the fireplaces closed, hoping they were not out of time.

_They are safe._

Severus rolled up the three-word note and sent it to Hogwarts as soon as he and James had finished setting a complex array of wards around the dilapidated house. Lily had gone to put Harry to bed again, who was cranky from waking up early from his nap. His Mark burned white-hot, and he clutched his left forearm reflexively. He met James' hardened eyes, a sort of wordless communication traveling between them. He nodded his goodbye, stepped out of the Anti-Apparition wards, and Apparated to the Dark Lord's side.

He knelt swiftly, ignoring the dull thud from the stubborn bruise on his side.

"I see you recovered quickly, Severus," he heard the Dark Lord say silkily, a definite smirk in his voice. He bit back a retort.

"Yes, my Lord; I was allowed to medicate myself at Hogwarts." Severus said, standing upright again. He looked around and saw that this was a general meeting. The dungeon-like room they were in again was full of masked, robed figures. Severus picked up a rock, transfiguring it into the mask he'd left at Hogwarts, and put it on, grateful that seemingly no one had seen his face.

"My fellows, we have taken care of the Longbottoms. They are in St. Mungo's, where they will spend the rest of their pathetic lives. The Longbottom boy is still alive regretfully, but no matter. His parents were nothing special, and therefore neither is he." Lord Voldemort announced almost flippantly. "And thanks to one of my most valuable members, we have a special guest tonight,"

Two Death Eaters stepped forward, dragging a muddy, stinky lump behind them. Severus realized with a jolt as the lump moaned in pain that it was a person. The Death Eaters acting as guards roughly forced the man to sit up and yanked on a fistful of his matted hair, forcing his face upward.

Severus felt his stomach drop sickeningly. His worst fears had come true.

Lord Voldemort had managed to capture Remus Lupin.

"This man, or, should I say, werewolf, is the key to the Potters." Lord Voldemort stated, fiddling with his wand. He turned and pointed his wand at Lupin, barking, "One last chance, mutt. Tell me what I want to know… and Lord Voldemort always knows…"

Severus thought frantically. Was the Fidelius Charm protected from Legilimency attacks? Did Lupin even know Occlumency? Outnumbered by thirty die-hard Death Eaters, Severus couldn't hope to do anything for the man. It was simply too much to hope for to somehow be able to get to Lupin and Disapparate to safety without being followed or outright killed. Fidgeting nervously, Severus forced himself to stay still- the least he could do was report on whether or not the Dark Lord knew where they were.

"Never…never…telling…fuck you…" Remus scoffed through gritted teeth. His hands were bound behind him roughly and he strained feebly against the ropes, glaring at the contemptuous older man. Remus squeezed his eyes shut and groaned as the Dark Lord forced his way into the werewolf's mind, roughly searching for the vital bit of information- exactly where the Potters were.

The Death Eaters jeered at Lupin as Lord Voldemort pulled himself out of Remus' mind with an angry bellow. "Damn that old coot! The Fidelius information is protected from even my superior skills of Legilimency!" he roared, bringing his wand high over his head. "_AVADA KEDAVRA!_"

With a flash of green light and a rushing sound, Remus Lupin was dead. Panic flooded through Severus' being as Lord Voldemort spat on the body and the guards removed it.

"I want the Potters," he said to the deathly quiet crowd. "And I want them as soon as possible. You will not fail me." The crowd tittered nervously, and they began Disapparating in groups. Severus waited until most of the members were gone and made his way over to the body. With a feeling of foreboding, Severus gripped Remus' body tightly and Apparated back to Spinner's End.

Three days later, on Halloween, Remus' funeral took place close to the Hogwarts grounds. Severus arrived under the Polyjuice potion to pay his respects, sitting next to James, Sirius, and Lily.

Severus found Andy near the back, and moved to sit next to her instead. "Sorry about your house," he muttered quietly. She looked at him in surprise for a moment before realizing it must be Severus disguised.

"Yes, well, I expect I'd have done the same in your shoes. Still like her?" Andy answered mildly.

Summoning his courage, Severus said, "No, acutally; I like you. Can you... that is, if you like... erm... grab a butterbeer or something sometime?" Andy again looked at him in surprise.

Gently, she informed him, "I married six months ago." He shot a look at her left hand. Catching him, Andy said, "I married a Muggle man. The rings were both too big, and he insisted on having them done the Muggle way in London. He'll be back tomorrow night."

"Oh." Severus stood awkwardly, his cheeks pink. He made his way back over to Lily, who smiled slightly at him. _I'll never get lucky,_ Severus thought to himself.

Peter waddled over, his eyes puffy and rimmed.

The three marauders mourned their loss as Lily dabbed at her eyes.

"You must come over, Wormtail, we have to drink to Moony," Severus heard James say.

"Oh- I… I suppose I could… remind me where you live again, Prongs," Pettigrew said, his voice thick.

James sniffed. "We're at Number 15 Godric's Hollow," he said.


	15. Code Red

**Code Red**

_A/N: You're going to hate me. I know. If you don't already hate me for killing off Remus... it was necessary! It was either him or Sirius, and I decided I needed Sirius so there! Read and review! The more reviews I get, the more motivation I have to write the next chapter! ._

After the funeral, James, Lily, and Harry moved back to Godric's Hollow after Dumbledore reminded them they were the Secret-Keepers and therefore safe since Lupin had died. Severus had a nagging feeling but brushed it off, deeming it unimportant if he couldn't put his finger on it. He lounged around Spinner's End as the dreary morning turned into an equally dreary afternoon.

As the day stretched on Severus became more and more restless. Around five his Mark seared painfully. Grunting slightly, Severus pulled himself out of his near-morose state and Apparated to the Dark Lord's side, hating being a spy now more than he ever had before.

"Severus, I have a special missive for you," Lord Voldemort said almost pleasantly as Severus landed roughly on the hard stone floor. "Tonight I will be most triumphant in my… mission. I need you, Severus, to stay behind and act like Dumbledore's pet. If he commands you to fight against me, I am sure you will pull your spells, will you not?" Severus murmured acquiescence, his curiosity burning.

As he straightened, he asked, "My Lord, as you know, I am quite adept at dueling. Will you not tell me of your mission? Could I not fight on your side, masked?" Lord Voldemort's bloodless lips curled into a hideous sneer.

"Why Severus, I would but that ruins all the fun. But let's make a deal… you obey my word to the letter, and you shall have a most compensatory… prize, shall we say… from this raid, hmm?" the Dark Lord said maliciously. Recognizing defeat (plus not wanting another dose of the Cruciatus) Severus left, discomfited.

He arrived at Spinner's End to find his fireplace glowing slightly- "Potters must be unsealing the exits," he muttered to himself. He drafted a note to Dumbledore about an imminent raid and, unable to do anything else, he decided to spend Halloween at his house where no students or trick-or-treaters would bother him, and grade homework.

For the next hour, Severus grumbled as he graded pitifully incomplete papers written by incompetent third-years. He scowled at one essay in particular the hardest- this abomination was more thought out and definitely more complete, but the idiotic girl had doodled flowers and hearts over the i's and j's throughout the entire thing! His eyes widened as he reached the end of her essay, seeing a postscript hidden in tiny flowery handwriting on the lower left corner.

"'Dearest Professor Snape, I think your love of potions is inspiring and you are simply the best teacher that Hogwarts has to offer and'- what IS this?" he said, reading the note out loud. His sallow cheeks reddened slightly when he realized this student must have… dare he say it??... a crush on him! He snorted and sat back, deciding to take a break from the painstaking work he was doing. Severus considered visiting the Potters and ensuring they were safe.

Almost instantly he brushed the thought away, thinking the Potters probably wanted more time to themselves to mourn, drinking to Lupin with Pettigrew.

_OH SHIT! PETTIGREW!_

With a sickening lurch in his stomach, he realized the Potters were in terrible danger. He whipped around, hoping against hope that the owl with his note to Dumbledore was somehow still in the house. Unfortunately, it was long gone and not even a speck in the sky.

"Shit, shit, shit!" he screamed, throwing more than enough Floo powder into the fireplace, roaring, "Hogwarts, Headmaster's office!" The room came into view and his sudden appearance startled the aging Headmaster.

"Severus, what is it?" Dumbledore asked, concerned.

Breathing heavily, Severus gasped, "The Dark Lord's going after the Potters tonight! Pettigrew- he's a spy- James didn't realize he was a Secret-Keeper and told Pettigrew exactly where they were! He's going to lead the rest of the Dark side to the Potter home!"

Professor Dumbledore's blue eyes became wide and frightened. "Merlin's beard! Severus, come through the fire; I'll call the Order and lower the wards enough here so we can Apparate out of here."

Severus stepped through so quickly he tripped on the grate, but he caught himself and dusted his robes off as Dumbledore prodded several spindly instruments on his desk. As they whirred and puffed frantically, the Headmaster lowered a portion of the Anti-Apparition wards and the two frightened wizards Disapparated to Godric's Hollow, their hearts threatening to pound out of their chests.


	16. Destiny

**Destiny**

_A/N: THIS IS IT! THIS IS THE END! Thanks to everyone who's been reading along from day one! You are all amazing! I was quite pleased with the way this turned out... read and review! Enjoy!_

Severus and Dumbledore gaped at the sight. Hastily casting a glamour to make himself fairly unrecognizable, Severus' blood boiled as he took in the sight of a small crowd of Death Eaters, led by a squat, fat, robed figure heading toward the Potter house. Lord Voldemort stood next to the short figure, impressive as he towered ominously over the rest. He raised his wand and, grasping the short figure by the shoulder as the smaller man grasped the doorknob, shot an electric blue spell at the home he could finally see.

Severus roared in anger as the Fidelius Charm became visible for a moment before shattering. He ran forward as the crowd surged inside, drawing his wand and firing indiscriminately into the crowd.

_Relashio! Crucio! Reducto! Sectumsempra!_ Severus fired spells off as quickly as his magic would allow, his heart pounding terribly. Cold fury had overtaken Dumbledore's demeanor as well as the infamously Light wizard cast highly advanced spells as if he were merely lighting the tip of his wand.

Severus barreled through the confused swarm of Death Eaters. As Severus wounded them, Dumbledore bound them magically and prevented the monsters from Apparating to safety. Lord Voldemort had disappeared, it seemed, so the Death Eaters began to fight back against Severus and Dumbledore.

Driven by full-blown hate for the Dark side, Severus dueled three Death Eaters at once, laughing maniacally. "Is that all you've got?" Severus roared, easily dispatching the three. An angry howl sounded and a Death Eater stepped forward, tearing off the plain white mask.

Bellatrix Lestrange faced him, her eyes flashing. "You think you're such a big shot? Fight me! Once I'm through with you I'm moving on to that slutty bitch Lily Potter!" she cackled, firing a Slashing Hex. Severus dodged it easily, his muscles knotting. He threw a murderous look at the crazed witch and fired a Disemboweling Hex she also dodged. She cackled again. "I knew it! You filthy half-blood traitor, you fucking piece of shit turncoat! I knew you had to be a spy, Severus; I knew you had to have been fooling the Dark Lord somehow all these years and now I have proof! _Finite Incantatem!_"

Thrown by her accurate speculation, Severus couldn't dodge the spell aimed at his face. A cold, abrupt tingle told him his hastily-cast glamour had been ripped off, and his stomach dropped. For an instant, the rest of the inner circle simply stared at the traitor in their midst before Dumbledore took the advantage, Disarming and Binding close to half of those present.

Severus felt the Dark Mark burn horrifically and the remaining Death Eaters abruptly turned on the spot and Apparated away. Desperate, Severus fired a last hex at Bellatrix as she spun on the spot, hitting her straight in the heart. Her momentum and magic carried her around one last time, allowing Severus to triumphantly see her vacant eyes before her magic mercifully Apparated her body away. Just after, the air took a strangely greenish tinge- someone had cast a powerful Atmospheric Anti-Apparition ward.

Severus ran up the sidewalk to the front door, bursting in so fast the splintered wooden door fell off of its hinges.

"So it is true. You betrayed me," a high, cold voice snarled behind Severus. Fear gripped his mind, but he forced himself to turn around confidently, wand out, and face the Dark Lord. Lord Voldemort smirked. "You are no match against me, Severus… and to think I was going to spare the Mudblood for your enjoyment. No matter… you shall watch. _Incarcerous!"_

Before Severus could dodge, thick strong ropes sprung out of nowhere and wrapped themselves tightly around his body. Lord Voldemort levitated his struggling body and Dumbledore tried to run inside, but ran straight into an unseen ward. Severus scowled and kept struggling, trying to point the wand he'd thankfully not dropped at the ropes binding him.

As Dumbledore fired spell after spell at the ward, trying to break it, Lord Voldemort and Severus went upstairs. Severus' heart dropped as he heard hurried frantic voices and Harry's confused cries. Lord Voldemort looked for Harry's nursery, and his anticipation at finishing off a threat made his magic blast the door open as he reached it.

Lily screamed, shielding Harry from the force of the blast. James tried his best to shield the both of them, ignoring the bit of wood that struck his cheek. Lord Voldemort stalked inside, smirking heavily.

"Ah, at last, Lily and James Potter are in my hands! It's time to hand over the child," he said, bringing Severus into the room still bound. Lily whimpered slightly, her hand covering her mouth, as she realized her best friend had been discovered.

James' eyes narrowed at the unspoken threat and he stepped forward defiantly. "Don't you dare hurt Harry! You'll have to go through me!" he declared, his wand at the ready. Severus heard voices downstairs and his heart lifted as he recognized Sirius' panicked growl- the Order had arrived and managed to break through the ward! More footsteps thundered up the stairs as James shot a hex at Lord Voldemort.

Enraged by James' show of bold resistance, Lord Voldemort snarled, "_Avada Kedavra!_" Lily and Sirius, who had just arrived in the doorway, screamed as the jet of green light struck James in the middle of his chest. James' brown eyes gazed out emptily as he fell to the floor. Sirius ran in and tackled Lord Voldemort, hitting Severus enough to move his tightly bound right arm just enough to point his wand at the ropes. As Lord Voldemort fell over, Severus released his arms and tried to free his legs.

Sirius only managed to hold Lord Voldemort down for a minute, as he was strong as he was cunning. Lord Voldemort threw Sirius off and raised his wand again. He fired another Killing Curse, aimed at Lily, but Severus had rushed in and pushed her and Harry out of danger. Varied shouts below informed the Potions master that the Death Eaters had returned, fighting the Order members downstairs. The roof of the house shuddered and broke from the impact of the curse, giving the house an air-raid look.

Sirius groaned. He had landed heavily on his left side, and moved as though every inch was painful. Severus stood in front of Lily and Harry, scared but determined. He and his former master began to duel, their rapidly-fired spells increasing quickly in power and Darkness. Severus saw Lily try desperately several times to Apparate away, but the Atmospheric ward hadn't shattered with the roof's destruction. With a jolt, Severus remembered the jar of Floo powder downstairs.

"Lily! Get the Floo powder! Get out!" he yelled to her, throwing up a Shield Charm just in time to block a nasty jinx.

She shook her head tearfully. "We don't have anymore," she said, her voice catching. "Peter 'accidentally' knocked our jar over and I Vanished the mess,"

A sense of pure hopelessness stole over Severus. He froze momentarily and Lord Voldemort managed to tie Severus up again. This time, however, Severus dropped his wand. Falling over in the opposite direction of his wand, Severus cursed his horrid luck and struggled mightily against the ropes. A hideously loud buzz filled the room as the Order tried to break through the ward sealing off the nursery Sirius had managed to slip past, but for the moment those wards held fast.

Lord Voldemort bound Sirius too, laughing cruelly as Sirius cried out in pain when the ropes tightened around his left leg. He surveyed the room, drinking in the sight of Lily pressing herself against the far corner, gripping Harry tightly as they cowered next to the useless fireplace. The harsh buzzing intensified as Lord Voldemort advanced threateningly toward Lily and Harry. Severus and Sirius cried out various obscenities and threats, hoping to distract Lord Voldemort for even just a moment.

Lord Voldemort smirked maliciously. "Checkmate," he said softly. "_Avada Kedavra!_" A jet of green light sped toward Lily and Harry. Instinctively, Lily turned so that her back faced the men as she desperately tried one last time to protect Harry.

The Killing Curse hit Lily's back, and she uttered a small, "Oh!" Severus cried out, his damaged heart breaking. Her lithe form sagged against the corner and she slid down. Harry landed rather ungainly, and began to cry from fear and pain.

For the first time in many long years, Severus felt burning hot tears spill onto his sallow cheeks as Lily fell backward, her vacant eyes open and staring straight at him. His best friend… dead… and it was all his fault. He went limp as Sirius yelled and raged, both men crying for fallen friends.

"_Avada Kedavra!_" Lord Voldemort said, jabbing his wand at the crying child. The three men watched in wonder as the curse sped towards Harry, hit him straight between the eyes, and rushed back to the Dark Lord.

Lord Voldemort screamed comparably to a banshee as Harry's wails intensified. In that instant, the wards around the nursery fell and Professor Dumbledore barreled inside. Lord Voldemort's screams doubled in volume and all those inside, including the Order members that had poured in just after Dumbledore, gazed in horrified wonder as the spell wrapped around the Dark Lord and ripped his body away, leaving behind a wraith.

"_Incarcero spectralis!_" Dumbledore rumbled, and a golden lattice "jail", of sorts, constructed itself around the wraith-form of Lord Voldemort. Unable to flee, the spirit shivered in place, a snarl forming in the insubstantial mist.

Arthur Weasly released Sirius from the ropes binding him as Dumbledore undid the ones binding Severus. Immediately, the two men rushed to Lily's side and Sirius plucked a still-screaming Harry from Lily's protective postmortem hold. Severus felt more hot tears roll onto his cheeks, landing on Lily's beautifully peaceful face as he leaned over her.

His best friend and his first and only love was dead.

After a few minutes of regaining his composure, Severus stood and acknowledged the Order, who finally knew him as their spy. He walked over to the shadow of his former master; every breath pained him as he struggled to fully come to terms with Lily's death.

A barely-discernible face in the mist turned to face Severus. "You foolish brat; I provided everything you ever could have asked for," the wraith hissed. Severus' eyes narrowed.

"I am not normally known for my compassion, Voldemort, but let me say this. You get this one chance to come clean. One chance, to tell me what ties you to the living world even after being hit with the Killing Curse. One chance, to tell me everything you've done to be close to immortal. If you decide not to take this chance, I'm sure you'll not be a danger after a Dementor is through with you," Severus said haltingly, glaring contemptuously at the noxious-looking yellow fog. "Else you will simply remain in this form as the rest of the wizarding world figures out how to kill you. May death be all that you fear, you disgusting old fool,"

Severus picked up his wand and looked over again at Lily's and James' bodies. He looked over at Sirius, who was tearfully trying to console Harry although the broken man needed consolation of his own. His eyes lingered on the bloody lightning-shaped cut on the baby's forehead, and his fingers tightened dangerously around his wand. Severus turned to face Voldemort again, who sneered and turned away as best as he could.

"I'll not tell you anything," he said mockingly, his voice echoing as it resounded from the mist as a whole.

Severus' eyes narrowed. "By my magic, I swear I will dedicate the rest of my life in finding out your secrets and unraveling your plan. I _will_ avenge Lily," he said softly, dangerously.

"Have fun trying!" taunted the mist, though Severus detected a hint of fear. As Dumbledore moved the imprisoned wraith, intending to keep Lord Voldemort under lock and key for many many years, Severus smiled wickedly.

"I intend to," Severus declared. His obsidian eyes glittered ominously and his wand heated slightly in anticipation.

Severus had no intention of making Lily's child a murderer. Instead, he would take destiny into his own hands, and kill the one who killed his love, his best friend, his light at the end of life's dreary tunnel. If it took the rest of his life, Severus swore to himself he would see the end of this monster.

For Lily.

After all, Severus reasoned, death didn't kill a friendship. He and Lily were friends forever... no matter what.


End file.
